JESUS'S
PASSION
JESUS'S
PASSION
to
the reader with the wish that, reading and meditating, ascends to the point, to
feel himself/herself/themselves to say from Jesus:
«You love when you cry and when you smile; you love me in the pain and in the joy; you love me in the silence and speaking: love me in all»
The ecclesiastical court of the diocese of Braga began
the trial on the virtues and fame of holiness of the maid of God Alexandrina
Maria from Coast 14.1.1967. Questioned 48 witnesses and approved the writings,
it was closed happily 10.4.1973. In following May the whole documentation passed
to the Roman Congregations. In December 1975 the specialized theologians in
dogma, ethic and mysticism gave their positive vote on the writings of the Maid
of God.
Presentation
THE CHRISTIAN'S VOCATION È Á. THE PASSION OF CHRIST
Jesus's invitation to the man because his/her disciple becomes you/he/she
behaves the share and the conformation to his Passion (Mt
10,16), to establish a relationship of similarity between the Teacher and
the disciple (Gv 10,4 sses).-
The insertion in Him as shoots in the grapevine (Gv
10,17), as necessity to remain in its love, means also to observe its
word, as for Him to remain in the word of his/her/their Father means to effect
its word, that is that wish that imposes to Him to offer his/her own life for
the flock (Gv 10,17). According to
the teaching of Christ, therefore, true disciple is he who you/he/she relives
his mystery of death, or better he who you/he/she welcomes in itself Christ to
relive his Passion. This way the apostle Paul has understood and lived the
mystery of Christ.- The Gospel is
that's all: «We preach Christ crucifix» (1 Cors 1,23).- The life
of Paul is an alive reproduction of the life of Christ. «I want to boast only of this: of the cross of ours Mr.
Jesus Cristo:- because He is dead
in cross, the world is dead for me and me I am dead for the world» (Gal
6,14); «we always Bring and wherever in our body the sufferings of dying
Jesus, so that also the life of Jesus is revealed in our body» (2 Cors
4,10).- And the apostle is
felt confitto in cross: «I/you/they have been forever crucifix with Christ...-
I am not anymore therefore me that I live, but it is Christ that he/she
lives in me.- And also keeping on
living in the meat, me by now I live for the faith in the Child of God, which
has loved me and himself has sacrificed for me» (Gal
2,19 sses).- Paul's desire,
in the rush toward the perfection, it is to know the strength of his Passion, as
of his Resurrection and to remain shaped to his Death (Fil
3,8-11).- - «Through the
baptism that has united us to Your death, we have been buried therefore with
Him, so that, as Christ is resuscitated by the corpses through the glorious
power of his/her/their Father, so also we lived a new life» (Rm
6,4), that is:- «We have totally been united to Him with a death
similar to his» (Rm 6,5).- Then in the Christian life, when it reaches his vigor, its
flowering, will necessarily have to also be revealed himself/herself/themselves
this assimilation to the Passion of Christ, with the same clarity with which the
life of the Grazia is manifested, the presence of the Christ in the soul.-
Therefore, if such fullness brings with itself for a certain connaturalità
the experience, also Christ crucifix will be the great reality of the Christian
experience. Same Jesus has spoken of the presence of his Spirit, when the
disciples will be called to make him testimony through the passion and the death
(Mt 10,20).- The
word of Jesus finds confirmation in the whole Christian tradition.-
Ignazio of Antiochia writes: «Through the cross the Christ, in his
Passion, he/she invites you everybody that you are his/her limbs. The head
cannot exist apart without its limbs» (Trall
11,2). The agiografia Christian is rich of testimonies of this presence
of Christ in the life of the believers, above all as trionfatore on the pain and
on the death.- In the rich team of
the mystical Christians they are not few those people that have relived in
extremely realistic way the play of the Passion of Christ in their body and in
their spirit.- And it is thanks to
their experience of the presence of God and his action in the mystical souls,
that theology knows the intimate relationships between the divine People of the
Trinità and their work in the souls.-
THE PASSION IN ALEXANDRINA
The phenomenon of the Passion of Jesus in Alexandrina occurred during the
17 year-old arc:- from 1938 to
1955. In this long interval of time it is necessary to distinguish two periods,
in which the phenomenon is manifested with different characteristics; we
will respectively point out with «physical share » and «internal share »
these two forms or ways of revealed him of the phenomenon, for convenience of
denomination; we do however well present that the Passion is substantially
unique, being contemporarily us sufferings of the body and the soul, physics,
moral and spiritual, inseparable.- - - - - - -
1. Physical share
In the 1° period, from
October 3 1938 to March 20 1942, the phenomenon happened in days and determined
times:- 12 give on the Friday at 15
o'clock. Alexandrina methodically relived the varied phases of the Passion from
the agony in the garden to the death, in state of ecstasy.
Its feelings and its reactions to the pains were made apparent by
attitudes, gestures, expressions of the face and the whole body, easily
interpretable from who could assist you. 2
father Pinho has written to the respect: «We have veduto unwind
himself/herself/themselves to the alive one the play of the Passion, even if not
apparirono the stigmates, because Alexandrina had asked that nothing appeared to
the outside.- - The Passion was
violent and the presents cried sobbing to that show of visible pain» (cf Christ
Gesù in Alexandrina, p.-
730). The teacher of mysticism, Mendes I give Carmo, you/he/she has
affirmed:- «And an angel crucifix!
». The teacher of the country, Saòzinha, and others have testified: «We were
transported in spirit in the varied places of the Passion of Jesus. Nobody could
follow those scenes without crying».- His/her
sister Diolinda, in a letter to p. Pinho speaks of the phenomenon Passion
relived 7.4.1939:- «My father,
thing was never on holy Fridays: was indeed day of Passion! Before beginning,
that turns of affliction had! It feared the to spend of that day and it said:
"I would like that you/he/she was already passed."-
I comforted her as I was able and I caressed him, despite that also I was
saturated of fear and of affliction.- - During
the Passion I was not able not to cry and I saw that the other presents almost
all cried. What a touching show! The agony in the garden was long and
afflittiva. Very deep moans were heard and he/she sometimes sobbed. I don't
speak to her of the scourging and of the coronation of thorns! The hits of
scourge he/she picked them up in knee and as if it had the tied up hands.-
I approached to her a pillow to the knees, but she changed place, he/she
didn't want him/it. It has the knees in miserable state. The beatings were not
counted: they much longer lasted... He/she was seen her faint.-
Also the hits of reed on the head crowned of thorns were innumerable.- During the Passion he/she vomited twice: only water because
it didn't have anything in the stomach. The sweat was as that hair was mixed; I
passed her hand on the suits and I withdrew her/it wet. At the end of the
coronation of thorns it seemed a dead body. They came to assist the canonical
Borlido (of Viana I give Castelo) and two people; so also the dott.-
Almiro de Vasconcelos (of Penafiel) and his bride with his/her/their
sister Giuditta». By the way of the weight of the cross that burdened on the
shoulders of Alexandriina during the phase of the slope on the Calvary, we
remember this episode. During the relived Passion the day 29.8.1941, the dott.
Azevedo invites one of the present priests to lift from the floor the fallen
clairvoyant under the weight
of the cross (mysticism).- - The
most strong is chosen; he/she picks her/it up under the armpits, but all of its
efforts are useless. He/she explains: «With all of my strength, I don't
succeed! ». Alexandrina weighed then around 40 kgs! After the Cireneo has taken
on itself the cross, the dott. Azevedo invites the same priest to lift
Alexandrina; these he/she succeeds without effort. The explanation is evident:-
the first time there were two weights; the second time there was the solo
weight of the clairvoyant. In other occasion, during the phenomenon in state of
ecstasy, P. Pinho had imposed her to tell him what the weight of the cross. It
is Alexandrina in very serious attitude: «My cross has a world weight! ».
2. Internal share
In the 2° period, from
March 27 1942 actually to the death, Alexandrina relived out the Passion some ecstasy
and not more in determined days, intimately suffering so that nothing
slipped out to the outside, rather sometimes covering the deep play with a
dessert smile.- - - The June 19
1946 told the his according to manager:- «In
other times these feelings and sufferings I especially tried them during the
three hours of Friday between the 12 and the 15; the pains of the Passion were
followed with order; today no.- The
I dismay for these pains it almost always persists, to Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday or to Friday; in non fixed times I now try this, now that other torment
of the Passion». Jesus, during the Passion, you/he/she has suffered the
torments inflicted to him by the men and contemporarily those that himself is
inflicted, in how much voluntarily you/he/she has done proper the sins of the
world (1 Pts 2,24; Is
53,4). Surrendered to the justice of God, you/he/she is found only
totally, not only to suffer his agony, but also to know her/it. And so pure
Alexandrina. Doesn't P. Corne perhaps call Jesus «the universal sinner, the
sinner of every time and all the places, on which God makes to weigh the whole
rigor of his justice»? It is p. Monsabré «the meeting of all the outrage and
all the sore»? Mons. Gay on his/her behalf writes: «And the truth that Jesus,
the living and endless benediction, fact sinner being himself/herself/itself for
everybody, it has to be accursed for all». Physical death is so the consequence
of that spiritual death that is the separation of the man from God. According to
Cullmann, it would be this death total enemy of God, the cause of the anguish of
Jesus in the garden of the Getsemani, more than the crucifixion and his
circumstances...- No, He cannot win
the death that really dying, surrendering himself/herself/itself to the same
dominion of the death, the great distruggitrice of the life, of the union with
God.- Granfield comments the cry of
Christ crucifix: «My God! my God, because you have abandoned to me? »,
affirming: «The weight of the sin of the world, the complete identification of
Jesus with the sinners they implicate an abandonment not only felt, but real
from his/her/their Father.- - In
this cry of abandonment the full horror of the sin of the man is revealed».
Only the love can inspire to develop a similar role. The suffering Christ is not
only a demonstration folgorante of the divine mercy; but it is also a non less
revelation folgorante of the malice of the sin and the dreadful catastrophe in
which the sinners are fallen, for the fact same that you/they are estranged by
The one without which I/you/they am a nothing and that it is the unique source
of every life and happiness.- All
these truths are not rendered explicit in the Gospel, but from teachers in
theological sciences and in the experimental center in the pages of the diary of
Alexandrina, the mysticism, almost illiterate according to the human culture,
and from other Christian mystical souls.- Well to reason Jesus told her: «The crucifixion that you
have is of the most painful that the history can record». Meditating is
succeeded her/it really to deepen our knowledge of the love of the suffering
Christ and redeemer. It will also become us account of the work that developed
in the redemption the Mother of Jesus and our, as also of the value salvifico of
the suffering of any soul that knows how to accept her/it with love in union
with Jesus.-
3. The effects of the experience of the mystical ones
A sure guarantee of the authentic mystical charisma is a vigorous
dynamism ecclesiale and apostolic, in perfect tuning with the magistero of the
Church. The perfect and heroic obedience to the ecclesiastical authority,
practised by Alexandrina, you/he/she was officially recognized by the diocesan
Court that developed the trial of it on the exceptional virtues and it approved
the writings of it.- All the
writings of Alexandrina are also corroborated by now by the positive vote of the
specialized ones in dogma, moral, mysticism of the Roman Congregations.-
This invites us to consider the principal effects that are born from the
mystical experience of the maid of God: to.
A common neither easy knowledge not of the facts, feelings and
circumstances of the Passion of Christ, that are not found rendered explicit in
the Gospel, or they are hardly mentioned to you.- b. A
particularly deep and intense knowledge of the intimate and spiritual pains of
the Savior, beyond his physical pains. A true contribution to the penetration of
the psychology of Jesus. c. The revelation of the inexpressible love, mysterious and
almost «absurd» of Christ for the man. Love that, in the Passion and death of
Jesus, it finds his taller expression.- «Nobody
has a greater love of this: to die for his/her own friends» (Gv
15,13).- Obviously it is this the most touching aspect, because the
soul is conducted toward the abyss of that charity of Christ that here
Alexandrina, with S. Paolo, it experimentally feels «how superior to every
human conoscimento» (Ef 3,19).-
In this experience of the only donation redentiva of Christ, done forever
once (Eb 10,10) the mystical soul
feels never that the Passion «it is the greatest and stupendous work of the
divine love and whole that it is a sea of love and pain».-
S. Giovanni of the Cross, talking ago of the great communications that
the Lord to the soul in the tall degrees of the mystical experience, he/she
affirms that «it especially communicates to her the sweets mysteries of his
incarnation and the ways and the streets of the human redemption»; elsewhere it
says that «the soul is dressed again and is turned into the same shines of the
incarnate Verb and it enjoys some purest joys of the spirit even if this
spiritual itinerary is accompanied by to suffer».- - -
MOTIVATIONS IT IS ORIGIN OF THIS JOB
«The world doesn't include what it suffered Jesus» (Diary,
25.10.1945). «I would like to draw in a picture all the sufferings of
Jesus that I feel in my soul and to be able to stamp to her in all the hearts so
that feels and understands what it suffered Jesus; and so doesn't sin anymore,
doesn't offend him/it more, only loves him/it, because only the divine love is
the fire for the hearts of the whole humanity» (Diary,
18.10.1945).- - This ardent
desire of Alexandrina has also picked us up and we has felt the urgency to
satisfy him/it. Particularly near to Alexandrina (as spiritual manager) we have
also heard the duty to spread the treasures of which the Lord has him ricolmata,
for the good of the souls.- - Already
in our volume Christ Gesù in Alexandrina they are
found described many moments of the Passion but I am so fragmented and
outdistanced in the launchings you take off for a summary autobiography, that
you/they don't introduce that picture desired by Alexandrina.- Digging in the deep and vast mine of precious material of
which we are in possession, we have drawn to the light the most meaningful
passages and we have composed them in a whole, the most organic that there has
been possible. The elaborate picture doesn't succeed certain to give a complete
vision for two motives: 1. Experience teaches how much difficult to express with
the word the motions of the soul is, above all when the human language has to
translate reality and divine operations.- A
lot of times Alexandrina expresses his suffering in to have to dictate, for
obedience, how much it happens in his soul.-
They are frequent in the Diary these words of his: «If my ignorance knew
how to express...- »; «I knew how to feel, but I don't know how to say... 2.
For the overabundance of material. Alexandrina relived the Passion of Christ, in
the second form (period from March 27 1942 actually to the death), now suffering
weekly an aspect, now another, of the martyrdom of Jesus.- -
We have chosen the most meaningful passages to offer a synthetic picture
to the reader.- We confess that we
have been about to the not easy job there, also aware of inevitable
deficiencies, because he/she cried there the heart to leave buried so precious
pearls.- Be well therefore use! Is
fertile in so many souls! With this
auspice we have made the dedication to the reader, with secret but warm vote
that, knowing more succeeds in loving more; and loving more succeeds in more and
more deeply knowing Christ Gesù, to leave him/it way of living and growth in
itself how much more possible.-
HIS STRUCTURE
The job has been separated in seven «moments»; each of them is constituted by varied pictures,
chronologically coordinated among them and psychologically; every of them is
enough finished in itself and sufficiently independent from the others to be
object of meditation.- - - The
content of every picture is express from the relative subtitle from us I join.
Every picture is composed of varied fragments; beside every of them it is
situated a number; it is brought at the end of the book, together with the date
corresponding to the dictated from which has been removed. Among the many alike
fragments we have chosen a solo of it: that that is seemed there more expressive
and also more consistent to the context and we have inserted him/it close to the
others so that to form as a great inlay.- We
have excluded repetitions in the sense that every fragment is brought an only
time. The reader finds to you instead substantial repetitions of concepts, of
feelings, of sufferings, under different forms always, with different tones:
this «to be repeated himself/herself/themselves» you/he/she has happened in
the reality; some torments are for example, foreseen already in Thursday, then
also during the agony in the garden and finally vissùti on the top of the
Calvary.- It also applies often the
painful bitterness to see that many, too many don't draw profit from the
Sacrifice.- He/she returns then
insistent, in an increasing I continue the motive for the to weave some pain
with the love, of their complementarità and the triumph of the love to every
cost.- They are the fundamental
themes, essential of the Christianity and they are never repeated enough:-
they put in evidence an unusual introspection of the painful Calvary
suffered by Christ and relived by Alexandrina. It is true that the connection of
the «fragments of the inlay» it is not always perfect.-
But we have preferred this drawback, to the introduction of sentences not
appartenenti to the text of Alexandrina. The translation is always adherent to
the original one. We have wantedly neglected literary elegances and linguistics.
Sometimes however we have had to change the time of some verb for uniformity of
exposure, within a same picture.- Besides,
for adherence to the actual way to feel, here in Italy, we have replaced the «You»
to the «You »nei talks between the soul and Jesus. We thank some dear friends
for the collaboration that you/they have given to us.-
Leumann, 2.2.1977 Party of the presentation of the Lord
EASTER D. UMBERTO M., S.D.B.
THE WHOLE LIFE OF CHRIST
BE CROSS AND MARTYRDOM
1 how much cost or Jesus his
life on the Earth! 2
were not, the garden with the Calvary, suffering of some times: the whole
life was Garden and Calvary. 3
he grew in age and wisdom and in Him and with Him it grew the cross. It
didn't separate only an instant: in it it grew, in it it suffered; but always
with smile and goodness, with his looks full of charm and of attraction. This
way I saw him/it and I felt inside of me to suffer in me and with me.
4 were a human being that
suffered; a divine Life that won.
«FATHER THE TIME AND»
(GV 17, 1)
«And
is put in the number of the malefactors» (Lc
22,36)
5
today, Thursday, since the morning soon I felt very sorry,: to see that
everything the people was waiting for new events, I felt a very great repugnance
and together shame.- It seemed to me to see groups here and there you sue to make
comments. My God, attends me on Fridays! what a fear! My looks seem to penetrate
in the intimate of the whole crowd that occupies the roads: my soul feels
everything. On the coast of a high ground, near the entrance of the city, the
accursed fig tree. More in low, a man brings on the head a pitcher of water.-
Meetings are woven... 6
with the eyes of the soul see gestures of grudge against me; I see people
that walk in hurry to get ready the betrayal here and there, the conspiracy to
capture me. 7
oh, as I see the betrayal that prepare me!-
8 fall above of me the weight of all the humiliations: there is
not some evil that doesn't say against me.
9 from far, very distant,
they are made comments; my name races on so many mouths: you/he/she is defamed,
you/he/she is wound in the mud as leaf that in it it decays. My soul feels all
and is undone in the pain. 10
all this that I feel and I see, has happened in You or Jesus! They are
your sufferings; and all have suffered her for my love!
«Birth
but I stay with you»
11
were engraved me in the soul the
vision of Jesus with the apostles. Jesus saw approssimarsi the death and, almost
without strengths to face the separation from them, you/he/she said: «And it
sews together my time: I go to die. I depart, but I stay with you».
And the divine Heart of Jesus burned of love. The hours passed. The
horror of the suffering increased, but the love also grew. I felt my breast as a
furnace and the heart in it as a container on the fire, it was in continuous
ebullition: how much more it boiled, more it overflowed; how much more it
overflowed, more he/she was filled. Jesus stared at his/her Mother; you/he/she
returned to stare at the apostles. In a very deep pain it murmured:
«I have to leave you, but I cannot separate from you. I go, but rest: it
ties me to you my love». The bonds
of love of Jesus entwined more and more to the holy Heart of his/her Mother and
the apostles
«I
have to give the Sky to the world»
12
race verse of me the death. The
sepulchre is ready. 13
my soul sees that all are already prepared for capturing me and to kill
to every cost. 14
see all of this that will tear the life from the body.
15 feel to consume from the vision of the agony in the garden
and of the death. 16 feel in the heart the ropes that tomorrow will tie the body;
I feel the slaps and the spits that will have to fall on the face.-
17 see the great crown of
thorns that, in form of helmet, it will have to wind my head.
18 My soul groans and agonizes. Sad Thursday! what
ever waits me! I feel and I see that soon my blood will flow from the body.
19 feel that the souls will
have to be wet of it. 20 already
see the cross! 21 are of scandal in the middle of the crowd. The soul cries; the
body trembles. 22 or
Garden or Calvary or death or horror, or I dismay!-
23 my spirit is maintained fixed in the Lord. In silence, go
exclaiming: «My God, my God! My father, my Father! ». 24 fix my eyes
to the Sky: «What happens has to happen! I have to give the Sky to the world. I
have to buy him/it with the coin of my soflerenza».-
«A deadly sadness oppresses me» (Mt
26,38)
25
in the afternoon had the impression to cross some roads.-
I walked, and I was mocked from how much they saw me and shown as guilty
of all the guilts as the greatest criminal.
26 saw the earth of the garden the place that would have been
bedewed with my blood.- In an
impulse of love I wanted to kiss and to embrace that terrestrial.-
27 more than once it came
toward my heart the image of the mountain of the Calvary, great as the sky.- -
My soul saw on its top, near the cross, the crying Mother in great agony,
surrounded by some expensive souls. I saw the Maddalena loosened in tears.
28 my heart repeated: «My
soul is sad up to die of it». 29
I took an interest of all the things and my thought it was always in the
garden. I walked for different roads and the heart he/she lived there always. It
was not worth to in advance speak of those sufferings: I would not have been
inclusive.
Two
immense seas: one of pain, the other of love
30
the pain, the I dismay they crushed the heart: they destroyed him/it. The
love recreated him/it. And so repeated times.-
31 my heart flew toward the
garden to drink to the source of every pain.-
It brought with itself another source, richer still: that of the love.
This forced me to drink in the other. 32 felt in me two immense seas: one of pain, the other of love.
That of love was above the ground of the garden; and in it it flowed, but
without becoming exhausted himself/herself/themselves the sea of pain. The love
all absorbed. 33 a devouring fire burned all of my intimate it came up to the
dry and arid lips: it was fire of love, it was fire of total delivery, it was
fire of life. 34 the love waved; the love grew, it won, it covered the pain.
What a great heart, I had! Great as God. Oh, how much great is, great,
infinitely great God's love!
«To
eliminate the sin offers himself in sacrifice»
(Eb 9,26)
35
the world was everything darkness and war: it was as a violent immense
sea against me. I felt attacked and hurt by everybody. But the heart loved; and
it loved so much that, to free from the darkness how much they hurt me, I went
to give the life.- - 36
for the whole day could not dissuade my spirit from the garden. But a
supreme Life, that was me, soothed my pain. This Life had in itself the vision
and the memory to be come down on the Earth, sent by the eternity Father.
37 me offersi, for Your
love, to pay the whole debt of the whole humanity.-
Only its divine Wish was mine; my was its Life; my was its Love.
38 firm and total wish to
complete the Wish of the tall one, was what made the pain of this day sweet;
pain that didn't seem to me of one day, on the contrary of many years.-
I spoke, I walked, I worked, with the world in the heart.
«Jerusalem!
Jerusalem! You put to died the prophets» (Mt
23,37)
39
from me departed, toward the city of Jerusalem, the more sweets and
tender looks: they were looks of invitation looks of compassion. But oh, what I
saw there to go out of, what turns against me!
40 cried, or my soul cried
better. My tears were tears of Father: they were an incessant invitation to the
repentance. Was the time of the Grazia, that would not have returned anymore!
41 I saw what the City it
was and what would have been verse of me. And I cried for how much you/he/she
would be happened her and because it didn't take advantage of the time of Grazia
that was given to her. My soul cried and fixed the whole humanity.-
It penetrated all and in all the hearts that would have existed.-
«Giuda
of accord is put for helping to appropriate of Jesus» (Lc 22,4)
42
my soul suffered a lot in to see Giuda bargain over, of door in door,
Jesus's sale. Its eyes and its hair seemed to be already those of the malignant
one. Inside of me there were
the divine eyes of Jesus, anywhere that Giudas followed. All the footsteps, one
for one, that he did toward a so cruel betrayal, were as you stab that they were
driven in in the Heart divine and rough and black ropes that cruelly tightened
him/it. 43 felt to
despair. The desperation was me, but I believes it was not mine; in fact my soul
sustained in peace. My Jesus made me understand that such desperation was that
of Giuda.- It made all the
sufferings of his holy Passion more intense.
«To
take on itself the sins of the men» (Eb
9,28)
44
started to feel and to see, as shining light, the life of the Sky:-
it was stain dipping himself/herself/itself in the Earth.- It was Jesus that came to suffer. 45 seemed to me
they came from the Sky you radiate of sun that you/they gave life to the Earth,
submerged in sharp pains darkness, illuminating her/it.-
Against this sun they advanced black clouds, dreadful, to cover him/it.-
It seemed to me to have Jesus in me: it contemplated this sun and it
fixed the clouds formed by all the wickedness. He launched toward the clouds to
embrace her, also feeling I frighten of it. His divin body was covered with
sweat. 46
he cried, it groaned. I felt him/it bend himself/herself/themselves under
the overwhelming weight of the humanity. 47 he had to become an alone mass with the world, it had to
bathe himself/herself/themselves in the mud; and it was afraid.-
It was as a to launch to him in the fire to be burns of it. Its divine
love was very great: He/she forced him/it to unite himself/herself/themselves to
us, to dress again him of our wickedness. The union of the high Purity with the
dirty mud! 48 every now and then ,
Jesus stared at the Sky and praised his Eternity Father.
«But
I am a worm and not a man» (Sal
21,7)
49
toward evening felt as if they removed from me a beautiful suit, that
he/she conferred me the whole grace and the beauty, and they made me wear a
world suit, that made me become scandal for all the people: as much was the
corruption of which was plotted! 50
felt as if I assumed the whole human wickedness.-
All entered me: I was the world. 51
seemed to me to be come by the Sky to turn into a worm of the Earth.-
I was a worm nauseante, rotten, corroded, that advanced always digging
inside all the dirty Earth. 52
tried such torment of it not to be able to withstand. My heart started to
burn. On this ardent fire it was demolished a world of poverties, all wickedness
and infernal fury. On this world the Sky came. A struggle was engaged, a great
war: the Sky against the Earth; the Greatness against the nothing; the Purity
against the mud. 54 the Sky went down on the dead Earth for the sin.-
It seemed that the firmament was dissolved in fire. My God, that turns! I
felt that the souls didn't fear God.
«A
new alliance between God and the men» (Eb
9,15)
55
the whole justice of the Sky was poured again above of me!
56 the Sky seemed to reject
me. But there was me a strength that he/she didn't mind what I had to suffer.
And I opened the braccias to embrace the immensity of that pain; absorbed in it,
I wanted to give the life to the Earth, I wanted to give light.- -
57 started to warmly feel in
my soul the indignation of the Sky against the Earth. I had to reconcile the Sky
with the Earth. I had to have reconciled and, at the same time, to give a new
life.- I was corruption and I owed,
with my blood, to cancel the corruption. I was void and, at the same time, I was
in the heights:- I had the same
life of God and I was the same justice of it.
58 The wickedness of the
world salivates, saliva: it reached the Sky. It challenged the divine justice:
it rejected the love. 59 in my respects everything is contempt: from the Earth and
from the Sky!
«I
have very desired to make this Easter supper with you» (Lc 22,15)
60
my soul sees all of my blood flow for the world; and from the world all
is despised and stamped on! My meat is from the eaten humanity and immediately
vomited. What a great horror! Be be devour better by the beasts.
61 new fire is turned on in
my heart. I have endless gasps to give to me: to be Wafer for food and Blood for
drink.
THE EASTER SUPPER
«You
go to prepare for all of us the supper of Easter»
(Lc 22,8)
1
to fall some evening the great
Supper of the love,: Love that so much ingratitude ricevette!
2 see the spirit and the
cares with which you/he/she is prepared:- I
see that it will be the Supper of the love, of the wonder as nessun'altra
never.- I feel that Jesus is giving
the orders to his and, stopping himself/herself/itself to every footstep, fixed
with divine looks the ungrateful City, the garden of the great bitterness, the
Calvary that attends him/it.
«It
was put to table with his apostles» (Lc
2,14)
4
climbed with Jesus and the apostles toward the great room of the Easter
banquet.- In to climb the stairway,
I felt that Jesus was impatient to eat that Supper with his apostles.-
5
Before starting the ceremony, I saw his/her Mother in tears and with the
dissolved hair, all absorbed in the pain.- -
Jesus made me understand that, few, hours later She would have gone to
that state to meet him/it long the roads of the bitterness.-
6 were great the pain of the
divin Heart for the vision of the tears of his/her/their Mother!
7 saw Jesus take a seat to
cafeteria with the apostles. While he/she was being sat, it exclaimed among
itself: «Divine food: the Supper of my love! ». The room lit up and all the apostles were soaked of that love
that radiated from the eyes, from the lips, from all of its Being: Jesus was
everything love. 8 were
love, love, only love; love to face wickedness and ingratitude. Giuda,
was not Giuda anymore: he/she was already seen in him really the demon.
9 with the demon in itself,
it didn't welcome the love of Jesus.
«But
here: my traitor is here to table with me»
(Lc 22,21)
10
saw cafeteria Giuda but a few far: leaning chin, rolled eyes, hair irti.-
A man didn't seem anymore: he/she was seen only in him an infernal
desperation.- 11 were
painful and blood-curdling to read the falsehood, the bad intentions in
the heart of Giuda; and to be bewared of his poisonous looks!-
Giuda, imposing to him him, Jesus it fixed for dissimulating, but it
stared at him/it with malice.- Jesus
looked at him/it with sweetness and goodness, to attract him/it to Itself.
12 offered his Heart with
wish to embrace him/it. 13
how much recall full of sweetness! 14
Sweets invitations to a heart of stone, to a rock that is not allowed to
shift. 15 traitor withstands: to nothing it is surrendered. But it is
not found to his/her ease near the lamb, innocent victim.-
Two square so different! A betrayal without equal and a love without
equal. 16
had in me, well engraved in the soul, two looks: that of Jesus and that
of Giuda. What a difference! That of Jesus, tender, it spread love; that of
Giuda, rolled, it was such to be made to despair.-
I also possessed two hearts: that of Jesus, full of goodness and of holy
attractions; that of Giuda, full of grudge and of hate.-
17 are approached the
betrayal: the sale than there is more beautiful and innocent.-
18 the bitterness of my soul
cannot grow over.
It
poured water in a basin and it started to wash the feet to the apostles
(Gv 3,5)
19
saw then Jesus take in his hands a great basin, to hang to the neck a
towel and to wash the feet to the apostles.-
20 felt that one, to which
it went a lot of uneasiness to let him wash the feet, after a look and few
words, it was already about to undress himself/herself/themselves to have washed
even in the whole body, if necessary.-
21 Jesus not only washed the
feet, but you/he/she lowered so much his divin Heart to want even them to kiss.-
I felt that, with his spirit, it did him/it. What a lesson for me! What a
humility, that of Jesus! There 22 were stimulated
to learn to be small:- Him, the
Lord of everything, was done the smallest in the mean of the apostles. He loved
so much, so much. 23 could
express here the whole love, the whole goodness and the tenderness of
Jesus, what could be good for the souls! But I don't know how to say better
nothing of. 24
Jesuses as sun that it appears to the horizon, gave to every some
disciples its divine love in form of rays uscenti from the Heart. The whole
ricevettero and they allowed to illuminate. Only Giuda was closed and refused
the radiant light of it.-
«You
take and hearty meal; this is my body... Drink all of it because this is my
blood» (Mt 26,26-27)
25
that night! What a holy night! The greatest of every night. The night of
the greatest miracle, of the greatest love of Jesus. The
his/her divin Heart was tied up to those people who so much darlings were
him. To be able to depart, had to remain among them; to climb to the Sky, had to
remain on the Earth. He/she forced him/it to this his divine love.
26 or beloved suffering! Who
will understand you? 27 would
like all to know the mystery of the bread and the wine transformed in the
Body and in the Blood of the Lord. Prodigious miracle! Unfathomable abyss of
love! For how much I felt absorbed in that mystery, not the inclusive to the
point to be known how to explain him/it: I knew only it to feel and only in Sky
I will understand him/it.- 28
saw the sweet Jesus bless the bread.
29 would like to know how to
say to be able to make to see the looks that Jesus raised to the Sky in the
moment of the benediction. 30
with the fixed eyes to the Sky, in flames of fire, Jesus begged for a
long time his Eternity Father. 31
the face was very inflamed that it seemed to have in itself, more than a
similarity of ours, only the Life of the Sky. Man didn't seem anymore, but only
God: love, only love. 32
so much light, so much love, pervaded everybody: Jesus, the apostles and
me. 33
that I enchant! With the eyes full of charm and with a sweet smile, it
blessed the bread that distributed after a little while to everybody.-
34 and at that time of love
and of miracle without equal I felt that the world was another: Jesus gave in
food to the humanity. It departed for the Sky, but he/she remained with it.
«Who
eats my meat and he/she drinks my blood he/she is united to me and me to him»
(Gv 6,56)
35 The
Eucharist, my God! What a wonder, when Jesus founded her/it! Touching scene,
scene only of love. 36 never felt so much to the alive one the tenderness, the love
of Jesus I pour his apostles.- All
were communicated by his hands, inflamed of love. I have to say that Giuda was
also communicated! He was more set apart; Jesus stretched his hand divine verse
of him, with the celestial Food.- 37
Giuda immediately remained later, as a damned, as much it was his
desperation. 38
Jesus always spoke with the same sweetness and with tender smiles.
39 The apostles, in that time
of Jesuses were satiated never.-
Of love they were inflamed and they reached to understand how much He
told them.- 40
experimented,
for some moments, the immensity of the love of Jesus: great as the Sky
and the Earth; great as the greatness of God.
41 as Him loved! As He
loves! It doesn't desire anything else other than we live of Him and for Him.
42 his/her Mother, a little
bit apart, but present, it participated in everything.
«As soon as Giuda had taken that piece of bread... it immediately went
out» (Gv 13,27-30)
43 don't know how, I was the
food, I was the wafer. 44
my heart was wine glass, it was wine, it was bread. All came to eat and
to drink to this wine glass.- Since
then in then the scene it would be repeated. But, what a horror! I saw so many
Giudas eat and to unworthily drink: so many filthy languages! Worse still: so
unworthy hands would have distributed this bread and this wine, unworthy hands,
hearts full of demons.- What a
death's horror! I felt so much pain, that seemed to me the soul of pain and of
horror it tore and the heart was made asunder.
45 also felt in me the language of Giuda: language that seemed
of fire, after you/he/she had eaten the bread and drunk the wine blessed by
Jesus.- 46 Giuda almost immediately went out with the purse of the money
to go to sell Jesus.- 47
ran away desperate to vomit that Food that had been given to him. It
consumed so his betrayal.
«You are my friends... I have made you know what I have heard from my
Father» (Gv 15,14-15)
48 all the presents remained
in peace and in love. 49
Convivios of great intimacy! The conversations aimed to give comfort.
50 talked of so much wisdom
and peace! 51 would
like to be able to make to feel to all the hearts what it is the love of
Jesus toward the soul that loves him/it really.-
52 felt the love with which Giovanni reclined the head on the
holy breast and the love that at that time Jesus made to him feel.
53 how much softly the
divine Heart of Jesus and the heart of the beloved disciple were united! Jesus
took comfort in his disciple and these in his Teacher. Such union made the
sorrowful pain of Jesus sweet. 54
felt that the sweet Love spread joy, even if meanwhile it suffered
bitterly.- Very assembled and in
deep silence, he/she saw the whole garden and the Calvary. And on Him it was
demolished, as furious beast, the whole humanity.
He/she is dismissed by his/her Mother
55 the dismissal of Jesus
came from finally the blessed Mother: it was the most painful goodbye. They
remained crushed of pain their holy Hearts.-
56 felt as if his/her Mother
kissed and Jesus embraced for the last time.-
What sweetness, his! How much that dismissal was sad! Oh, as they were
spoken each other that two Hearts! 57
were united their holy faces. But
more united they remained for the pain their innocent Hearts.
58 were united their faces
and the hearts. Their loves were united, not to separate
himself/herself/themselves more. Their souls cried.
59 Jesus La kissed; and that
kiss was of dismissal. He/she left in the Heart of his/her/their Mother you
radiate of fire: ties of love that left forever them united.-
Jesus went toward the garden and remained with his/her Mother; his/her
Mother remained and went with Jesus.
«JESUS ' DOORS MOUNTAIN
OF THE ULIVIS» (LC 22,39)
Two united Hearts in the love and in the pain
1 my soul saw Jesus come
down the staircase and to start I spill the garden.
2 on the landing of the
staircase his/her Mother was, wound in a mantle, with the tearful eyes: it
stared at Jesus that was getting further himself/herself/itself.
3 sad separation! Jesus well
he/she knew that few times later Her you/he/she would have liked to pick him/it
up among the braccias, to take care of him the wounds.-
But you/he/she would not have been able not to even comfort him/it at
least a few with his sweet words of Mother.-
4 already an a little
outdistanced, Jesus turned to again stare at her/it, as to give to her another
goodbye. She stared at his Jesus from the top of the staircase. Jesus
disappeared, but they was always united. 5
saw the sorry looks of his/her/their Mother, when Jesus didn't already
perceive anymore; and I saw how much its holy Heart followed him/it realizing
the sufferings which it went toward.- What
an union of pain and love, that of that two Hearts!
Toward the loneliness embracing the whole suffering
6 feel that all runs away
me. And I will stay completely alone in the garden, in the greatest agony!
7 run away toward the
loneliness to be able to cry in silence. How much tears of defeat!
8 to each footstep that I
do, is mountains that fall on me. 9
to every footstep feel as if I stayed for resting: the soul is tired.
10 the whole walk is thorny:
big branches of thorns woven hurt me. Anxieties and thirst of love were extended
to the whole world; and the reward to this love they were so alive and
penetrating thorns, that wound me the heart in an enormous tangle.- - The flames of love that went out of the heart, overcame the
thorns and they were raised aloft. 11
strengthened by internal efforts, from efforts of the amima, I walked.
12 my soul advanced toward
the garden, dragged by the love; the heart was tightly embraced to the whole
suffering.-
«I go to die for you»
13 height of meekness, Jesus
with his divine looks followed from distant Giuda, there in low, of house in the
house, while you/he/she was concluding the sale; to the arm you/he/she brought
the purse with the money. Jesus everything saw, but nothing told his apostles.-
14 hiddenly cried. 15 preceded them
sad and silent. I saw that they were not worried neither they suffered for what
it was about to happen:- they
walked tired. 16 extremely satiated, they followed their Teacher with all
calm. 17 were tired for the great wonder and for how much you/they had seen
and heard by Jesus. The trip was developed silent; but how much Jesus said with
his silence!- As loved them, as
spoke to them that divine Heart very oppressed by the pain and by the work!-
18 while Jesus walked
panting, for all of his body they flowed drops of sweat.
19 Every now and then is turned, it
goes to stare at the City that stayed after all there. Its divine looks
scrutinized all despite the obscurity.-
20 Jesus was sunk in the
suffering: it picked up in his Heart the whole ingratitude and the wickedness
that he/she saw. That abyss of hate and pain accompanied Jesus to the garden;
and He conducted me.
Alexandrina with Jesus participates in the pains of the Virgo
21 the divine Heart of Jesus
felt stamped on by the humanity. Next
to the Your, in the same suffering, there was the Heart of his/her/their Mother.
I felt as if the Heart of You flew toward Jesus and the violence of the pain it
dragged together with the heart all the veins of the body.-
22 along the run crossed me
the heart the sighs and the tears of his/her/their Mother. Not with the eyes of
the body, but with those of the soul, I saw her in the atrium of the room of the
Supper, with the holy face among the hands; I saw her cry of pain.- -
23 felt as if I brought the
sorry Mother within my heart as once She had carried Jesus his. My heart was the
shrine that welcomed Him with all of its pains, as She was shrine that welcomed
Jesus with all of its life, divine and human.- -
With what concentration I brought her!
24 Jesus was about to reach
the garden and his/her Mother he still cried. Jesus saw well and felt the tears
of the blessed Mother.-
THE AGONY IN THE GARDEN
«It was thrown to earth and it was started praying»
(Mc 14,35)
1 dragged from current of
love, I entered the garden. 2
saw his ulivis. I saw the light of the moon turned pale and the sad, as
sad scintillìo of the stars was the divine Heart of Jesus.-
All appeared I cross to the foliage, but with such sadness that he/she
invited only to the pain, to the silence, to the concentration.-
3 in the obscurity of the
ulivis, Jesus expedited the footstep: it went toward a place set apart to pray.
4 I almost
saw the ulivis to want to cover Jesus with their rent very green foliage; I saw
them witnesses of his suffering, as if of Him they had compassion.-
5 the apostles were put to
sleep. 6
in the loneliness, I felt the knees to fold up for praying.-
It also experiments in itself the future sufferings
7 garden of agony, Garden of
sadness! 8 a Garden, that is the world, paved of hard stones:-
an irreducible rock. 9
how many sufferings sees my soul for itself and for the body! 10
already hear the pain of the ungrateful kiss that this face riceverà; 11
feel a slap, 12 the
sputtered face, the bandaged eyes.- 13
feel the denial of Pietro; I see the brazier surrounded by people; I hear
the rooster sing. Inexpressible pain, comparable to that of the awful slap!-
14 see mocked, of court in court, among the cackle of the
people. 15 see the iron ring that is fixture in the column; I feel in
the heart the drawstrings that will tie to me to it.- 16 see the
scourges that will strike me the body and that they already flagellate me the
soul: I hear the hiss of the ropes and the rods; I see the grudge with which I
will be flagellated. 17
already suffer as if I/you was lacerated by the scourges and crowned of
thorns; 18 and so behavior in the
balcony of Husked, with a reed in hand 19 and
with an old cloak on the shoulders. Me, in the maximum demolition, in the middle
of so many jailers! 20
see the crowd, I hear his exclamations: I have to be death row inmate!
21 to moments seem to me to die, not to be able to withstand so
much pain.- 22 in direction of the garden the Calvary comes!
23 see the long run which I
will have to fall for the weight of the cross.
24 are dismayed for the vision of the slope: how will I have to face
her/it? oppressed of maltreatments!- I
start to tremble and the whole ground seems to tremble with me.
25 hear the cruelty with
which I will be naked: be detached, with the dresses, bits of skin and meat!-
26 feel as if they stripped
only not me the body, but also the soul! The pain that penetrates her/it is
deadly. 27 see the nails, the hammer, 28
the erect cross! I see crocifissa on it! 29 all the
sufferings are anticipated. 30
ouch, what pain is! What the sufferings of the garden are!-
The world doesn't know her, he/she doesn't know what it suffered Jesus. 31 or my Jesus,
only who tries him/it you/he/she can appraise how much You have suffered.
Meeting to a Calvary of many centuries
32 were the heart to receive
all the maltreatments. It seemed to me that, undone in blood, it crawled for the
ground of the garden, as it was a serpent poisonous, on which all unloaded the
greatest atrocities to kill him. 33
the heart however it loved as it was wounded.
34 became as cloud that,
instead of absorbing water, it absorbed every pain and martyrdom; pain and
martyrdom that were turned into blood that the whole Calvary would have bedewed
and, in the Calvary, the whole humanity.-
35 had the vision of the
blood that I was about to scatter and, at the same time, of the flowers that
were born from the blood.- Among these flowers
hedges of acute thorns were propagated: the greatest part bathed of blood. I saw
the fruit and I saw the ingratitude; I saw the glory and I saw the evil.
36 my heart was struck by
the general indifference for mine to suffer:-
there are not words able to describe its agony. For my soul, for my pain
- or, better, for the pain of Jesus - there was not compassion.- -
37 Jesus didn't go only
meeting to a Calvary of a day, but of many and many centuries.
The heart of his/her/their Mother already hears the sufferings of
his/her/their Child
38 and his/her Mother, where
was it to that time? 39
mine becomes animated he/she saw and the heart felt so much her distant,
there in the atrium, near the descent of the staircase, to fix the roads that
Jesus crossed, the places where you/he/she was found.-
His Heart, tied up to that of Jesus, it foresaw how much He went to
suffer; and with Him it felt the same pain.- -
40 with depths sighs it murmured:
«I give birth my, my dear Child, how much You suffer! ».
Plentiful tears flowed on its face.
41 passed I cross to my
heart the innumerable tears from you you pour.-
42 how much suffered for the Reparation and for the departure of
Jesus! 43 had the vision of what you/he/she would have happened later:-
a great crowd followed Jesus and, among the crowd along the Calvary,
his/her Mother walked with anxiety, in depths sighs and in tears. He/she wanted
to see and to run into his divin I Give birth.
44 Jesus suffered in great
agony: it suffered for the sufferings that waited for him/it and for the
sufferings of his/her/their Mother. 45
he saw where She was: he/she saw the distanaz that separated Them. Pain
without equal! 46 pain
lacerated me the heart and the soul.
Two trees: one of death and the other of the Life
47 saw where the great room
the sale of Jesus you/he/she was treated and where Giuda, desperate, it went
then to cast the purse with the price of the innocent blood.- -
48 saw far a tree to which
it was suspended Giuda. From it I saw him/it fall to the ground and to burst: I
saw to spread out himself/herself/themselves on the ground what the body it
contained.- Jesus's sale, the delivery, the traitorous kiss they
brought him/it to that action of desperation.-
All I felt in my soul. 49
I felt the only tree of the world that was turned into florid twigs,
which it gave new Life: the Life of the Sky. But for this, I had to face the
whole garden, the whole Calvary and, at the end, to die on the cross. It didn't
care the death: what cared it was to give new lives.
50 the love forced me to the pain: to closed eyes, mute lips,
delivered to everything. I went I pour the death. 51 in me felt
that I had to die. And I wanted to die. Without the death, I would not have
completed the mission that I had to complete on the Earth.
He/she embraces the whole ingratitude
51 in this culminating
moment felt Jesus that fixed the world. With deep sadness in his Heart it said:
«So much ingratitude toward so much love!
They were not well you accept: his sufferings, his divin blood, his
death! 52 were launched
on me how much of brutal it has the humanity with his weight.-
It crushed me, the breast opened to me, it killed me.-
But another Life, superior, sublime, very sublime, it gave entrance in
the heart to the whole humanity and it wound her/it in a fire of love.-
The irradiation and the folly of love it was such, that did to forget the
whole human cruelty. It triumphed some death and he/she embraced the whole
ingratitude.- 53
this embrace was eternal. Jesus, with his light, it made me see and to
understand that this was his eternal embrace to the souls:-
it was for them his eternal life of love.
It is in the garden that I called to Me the world
54 and in the garden that I
called to me the world. 55
above the ground of the garden an immense sea was raised, whose so that
they were demolished against me.- 56
everything around me was sea: they beat against me the furious waves as
me I was the bench. 57
crushed by these, fell in the dirty and stained earth. All the stains
were mine. I trembled of fear and it seemed to me that earth trembled.-
58 were covered with the
inequities that attracted above of me the justice of the eternity Father. 59 how much
tears of is ashamed, in to see me dressed again of all the wickedness and in to
be in such state to the presence of his/her/their Father!- 60 The
shame of myself and the weight of the divine justice forced the earth to open
himself/herself/themselves and they forced me to hide in it.- -
61 sank in that hard ground.
62 remained winds as of it
in a mantle. 63
me, all I husk, all corruption and sin, became responsible in front of
the eternity Father. I was only me to pay to him this incomparable debt!-
For a sea of sin and corruption, a sea of blood and purification.
64 all of my being remained
Garden. All of my being remained blood.
Grain of ground wheat
Grape's cluster pressed
65 were set on that hard
ground, to be responsible of everybody and scandal for a big part:-
these were rebellious, martirizzatori, assassins verse of me.-
66 my cry to the Sky stormed
in the loneliness, through the darkness of the night, among the verdant foliage
of the ulivis. 67 shouted so much, but that cry remained as lost in a wood: the
Sky didn't even hear me. 68 were
estranged so much by me the Sky, that I remained as if from the earth
I/you could not fix the firmament.- - All
had disappeared. Only the garden stayed. 69 the eternity Father was hidden: it seemed not to exist. But
its divine justice went down as in black clouds to crush me.-
70 the ground of the garden
and the divine justice were for me as mill stones, that you/they shattered me in
pain and dust.- 71 I was
the grain of ground wheat, turned into flour; and this continued to be ground
and rimacinata, up to disappear. I was the small cluster of grape, squeezed in
the press. And after to have given the whole juice, it had to still undergo to
new presses, which squeezed him everything, up to the exhaustion.-
72 blood dripped while,
grinded, I stretched the braccias in action of offer.-
Divine justice burdened on me, but it was mitigated in the respects of
the guilty Earth.-
Abandoned by the Earth and by the Sky
73 The dark and serene night
when an alone leaf of the ulivis was not moved, if not when pain made to tremble
everything, he/she invited to the loneliness and it made to feel more the whole
abandonment, even that of the eternity Father.- -
74 while the apostles slept,
Jesus remained for some time next to them.
75 in the moment in which Him more it had the apostles' need,
friends and his/her companions for so much time, less it had them, small it was
their worry:- - they slept calm, of
good sleep. Jesus suffered for this absence of theirs.
76 with the fixed eyes to
the Sky, spoke turned to his Eternity Father. The bright stars were as lights
that, through the leafy branches of the ulivis, they came to illuminate the
darkened garden.- - But for Jesus they didn't shine, they didn't give light:
neither to Him the eternity Father answered. However its soul infinitely spoke
and infinitely its Heart loved. 77
my pain came up to God. And Your abandonment was united to that some
humanity.- 78
and terrible the abandonment from the Sky, when I have the impression not
to have for me more anybody even of the Earth!-
«Father, if you want, it estranges from me this wine glass... »
(Lc 22,42)
79 felt standing. I held in
the trembling hands the wine glass, that never stopped overflowing: it fell
inside suffering without end. That wine glass was as a cup that riceve water
from a source that it is never dried. 80
inside of me, Jesus took the wine
glass of the bitterness and more times he offered him/it to the eternity
Father.- I was Jesus and Jesus it
was me: we were the same offer to the Sky.
81 in my heart felt Jesus
repeat: «Father, Father, Father! It estranges from me this wine glass, if it is
possible. But is done Your wish: I want to die for giving the Life».
82 in this moment, while
he/she was asking the Father to get further his suffering, but at the same time
he/she wanted only his wish, the face of Jesus was beautiful, very serene, with
the fixed eyes to the Sky:... 83
felt in my soul to shine as two solos.
84 in that painful agony
with the heart said: «Jesus, if is
possible, estrange from me this suffering! ».
But I immediately threw verse of Him with open braccia, as I/you was
burnt by the flames to plunge in a sea of coolness and softness,: «Is not done
mine but Your wish. Or my God and my Lord! I want to console you and to give to
you the souls».
It prays supported to a hard rock
85 saw a road endless cover
of strong tangles of thorns: all those thorns had to hurt me! My good Jesus made
me understand and to see in the soul, with a very clear light, that those thorns
would have hurt through the times, up to that the world, not the mine but his
divin you/he/she would have existed Heart.- I would like to know how to express the immensity of that
thorny road and the way as Jesus it was wounded. But I don't know. I knew as
soon as to see and to understand. And I remained in that pain, in that dreadful
anguish.- 86 saw the dear Mother in worry, in bitterness, in anxiety.-
Where was his Jesus found? What did it suffer in those times?
87 he prayed with the breast
supported to a hard rock, and you/he/she was surrounded by big tangles of
thorns, that the one were woven in the others. So much pain caused wonder and
admiration to the angels that from the firmament as stars, they contemplated
him/it. Only the Sky included the pain of Jesus. After the Sky, it was his/her
Mother to understand him/it and to live him/it. How much Jesus and his/her
Mother were loved and as they were seen the one through the other! All the
Earth, the disciples, ignored even the pain of Hearts so much lovers!
«Its sweat fell to earth as drops of blood» (Lc 22,44)
88 since agony increased, I
threw with the facing earth.- 89
on the hard ground, in a dreadful
obscurity, strong tremors pervaded me the body.
90 prostrated to earth in
more places; in a more solitary I went again to pray alone. Later I returned to
look for the company of those that I loved. What a lack of worry, theirs!
91 in the silent night, the
wine glass of my bitterness was offered Father to the eternity, while,
regardless, the beloved ones of my heart slept!- -
92 on that naked and hard
ground trembled of fear: it seemed that my sufferings became fire, they formed
flames that put in ebullition my blood. 93 the heart gave such jolts to force the body to roll for the
ground and to sudar blood. 94
felt that my veins were crossed as threads of a ball. With great pain
they were opened and they poured blood that drenched the earth.-
95 felt as if I had my
dress, wet of blood, glued to the body.
96 or Passion of pain and
love of Jesus, that are not known!
«You/he/she has freed us from our sins through his Blood»
(Ap 1,5)
97 with Jesus prayed and I
blood. With Him inside of me, I felt his open Heart as it was mine:-
I opened the heart to the whole humanity and with Jesus I told everybody:
«I am the Street, the Truth, the Life».
98 saw that from his divin
open Heart, with anticipated suffering, Jesus gave to drink to the souls.- -
Some
were estranged by Him, with refusal and contempt; they didn't even want to touch
the blood of Jesus.- Others drank
with coldness and indifference of it, as it were what from not too long. Others
came to drink him/it with more love. Others incessantly drank with intense
love.- Another came that overcame her all and, with an insatiable
thirst, he/she drank, he/she drank; it was introduced through the sore of the
divine Heart, him perdette in Him, didn't reappear anymore.-
99 blood irrigated the
Earth: fertile dew, dew of love.- It
had to be, during the times, dew of life and salvation for the souls.-
100 felt that versed blood
canceled the stains of the sin.- But,
in the same moment, I felt and I from far, very distant, new stains, new vices:-
he/she was not wanted to take advantage of that sea of blood of that sea
of purification.-
The tree of the cross blooms
101 saw to wash the world
with the blood. And the tree of the cross bloomed from my part. But immediately
a defeat, the defeat caused by the evil, ruined all up to the trunk. My veins
were the roots of this trunk and, because it didn't die and it kept on giving
the life, I had to continue with to suffer and to give my blood. The defeat, the
destruction that my soul saw, brought me to the agony.-
102 instinctively, among me
I repeated: «My soul is sad up to die of it».
103 some moments later I felt, gone out of the sepulchre:-
the stone that covered him/it was remained by a side. I had gone out
glorious to triumph on all the sufferings This vision of glory, in advance had,
it didn't give to me some relief.- 104
and new tangles of thorns came to wind the wine glass. These thorns
uttered light that illuminated him/it and it made him/it shining. But the whole
light and the shine salivate to the Sky. To the soul it stayed only the dark
night, silent, sad.-
«From the sky an Angel came to Jesus to comfort him/it»
(Lc 22,43)
105 prostrate for earth, in
an isolated angle... 106
came a comfort from the Sky. 107
I
didn't see anybody, but I felt that from the Sky someone came down come to
strengthen my soul, to rise from the naked earth to calm my agony.-
But this had to immediately to take back. I felt whether to bring relief
to my soul was a sent by the eternity Father; but Your abandonment continued.
108 the Calvary with the
cross didn't disappear. The world with its wickedness continued to increase the
sufferings.- 109
felt however stronger to face what it waited me.
110 While my dismayed
soul fought in that martyrdom, I felt as if a channel came down from the Sky and
attracted me inside of itself. That channel had the divine Life. And all of my
terrestrial life, all of my being of poverties was pierced by it, as from
shining and penetrating rays of sun. What I mix! The Earth with the Sky! If I
knew how to express as I knew how to feel, I would spend a whole life to speak
only of this without never ending.
«Lifted you, let's go! You/he/she is arriving he who it betrays me»
(Mc 14,42)
111 there in the garden,
with Jesus agonizzante, saw the reunited apostles to sleep without worry some.
112 the apostles slept. Giuda him approssimava. 113 Jesuses, full of
sweetness and meekness, called the apostles for the great event:-
the capture. 114 heard him/it
exclaim: «Lifted you, come! The time has come».
115 surprised by the voice
of Jesus, were shaken. 116 were
necessary that they came to see so much great love and so much great
ingratitude: the one in front of the other.
«Giuda was approached to Jesus and told him: Hi, Teacher! Then he/she
kissed him/it» (Mt
26,49)
117 hear the uproar of the
people the tintinnìo of the weapons. 118
see the thick group of the soldiers and, with them, a great number of men
that you/they are approached to Jesus, with batons in the lifted hands; they
bring the fury of the hell. 119
worn-out, with the dresses it soaked of blood, in a deep sadness and
almost without life, Jesus attends. He/she sees approssimarsi the soldataglia
and the traitor. 120
hear a voice that, with all sweetness, it tells he who it is approached:
«My friend, do you come for what? And with a kiss that delivers your
Lord? What have I hurt you me, whether not to love you? And so that you
correspond? ». And Giuda
immediately is made before and Jesus kisses.
121 Ricevos on my face that
kiss. So cruel kiss! Yet it still got from the lips of Jesus, traboccante of
goodness, the sweet word of «friend».- Or
sweetness or love of the divine Heart! 122
in the same moment see how a very acute dagger that is driven in in the
divine Heart of Jesus. With this hammered dagger, He goes toward the capture in
the middle of maltreatments,: it won't be more him removed.
123 from that great wound
bright rays that spread love go out. 124
saw and I felt for a lot of time that that kiss, that ingratitude, that
betrayal they would be repeated through every time.-
«If you look for me, here you have me»
(Gv 18,8)
125 «Who look for? I am me: eccomi». 126 see the soldiers fall to
the ground and I hear the voice of Jesus: «I
have already told you that I am me. If you look for me, here you have me».
127 the soldiers advance for capturing him/it. Pietro unsheathes
the sword and ransom an ear to one of them.
128 see the cross him some
swords, I see the weapons of the soldiers. What a great fight, if Jesus, with
his divine looks and with the lifted hand, didn't soothe and calmed everything!
129 see Jesus glue the ear.
130 work the miracle: don't
remain traces of wound! With what delicate goodness, the Lord acts!
131 Jesuses have made up for
with so much sweetness to the evil served as Pietro. With the same sweetness it
is delivered to the malefactors and it is allowed to tie.-
Could show the tenderness, the meekness and the love of Jesus I pour all
those people who offend him/it!- There
is void not on the Earth that can be compared to Him.-
FROM THE CAPTURE Á. THE
SENTENCE
«You/he/she has taken me in mean a turma of iniquitous»
Sal 21,17)
1 Jesus went out of the
garden, surrounded by soldiers with weapons and from men with batons.
2 saw him/it walk among
them, handcuffed. My God, as was abused! 3
fell for the kicks that were given to him, it beat with his divine lips
in the stones, remaining of it very wounded.- - 4 under
that fury of hits and cruelty, felt his divin Heart to palpitate within my
breast, afflicted for the pain and the tiredness to the point to seem that
he/she left you the life. 5 with what work climbed the pendìo after the garden!
6 fell repeated times;
dovetti to rise again and to climb without to have who helped me.
7 bore every torment of that
scurvy herd. 8
felt as if the throat was closed me and the lips were glued: I was mute
without being mute. 9
in that sad trip Jesus never spoke, only his divin Heart always spoke:-
it was an open book the book of the love. I didn't read him/it, but I
understood him/it. My divin Teacher, in that journey, it made me understand the
whole ampleness of his endless love.- -
«One of the presents gave to him a slap» (Gv 18,22)
10 accompanied us to the
presence of the tops priests. 11
I felt the dresses glued to the body for the blood already curdled.-
In the great room of Ann I saw behind Jesus the men with weapons and
batons. 12
felt the cruel slap. 13
saw the great ungrateful person that dared to give that slap to Jesus and
the grudge with which it gave him/it for him.-
It gave him/it for him in my heart. That man was tall, thin, brown, of
ugly aspect. 14 were
a lot of the guffaws and the clappings, as had done the most beautiful of
the actions!- 15
Jesuses ricevette the affront with extreme calm and meekness.
16 as was done small, Jesus!
And as was humiliated! Ann instead, in his vainglory, it was stiff, seeing
himself/herself/itself as adored from how much they surrounded him/it.
17 the pain of the cheek
cannot compare at all him to that of the heart.-
Ah, my God! Could show the pain that caused to You!
«The watches of the temple brought Jesus in the house of the top priest»
(Lc 22,54)
18 climbed, later, another
stairway, to tied up hands, almost entirely worn-out. I salivate without truce,
struck by beatings and by kicks; I had the face covered with spits.
19 saw the brazier near
which Pietro was with those people that you/they were heated.-
20 were brought to the
presence of severe men, of bad character, sat in throne as king.
21 still before the sentence
was elaborate against the innocent lamb, I felt that proud authority tear
himself/herself/themselves from top from fund the dresses, with a diabolic fury.
22 heard
that whole pride and that false greatness.-
The Lord of everything was, among everybody, the smallest! What a
confusion, mine! 23
saw so much to the alive one the maltreatments to mine beloved Lord.-
He made me understand that, without the divine Life that had in itself,
you/he/she would not have been able to be municipal alive to the jail.-
For mine great confusion understood to fund that I was in the number of
the jailers that abused the Lord!
«My children, son here only for love»
24 felt my soul go to the
jail I meet to Jesus. 25
had a sad aspect, disfigured; it was icy: it already seemed a dead body.
26 trembled of cold: had
lost so much blood! As was worn-out! 27
I felt his sadness, his exhaustion and the sweats that bathed him the
body. 28
associated to his pain, to his sadness and, as He, was exhausted.-
29 were to tied up hands,
for how much in the jail! 30
very sad it told me: «See,
give birth my; they were not satisfied with catturarmi:mi they left pure
handcuffed!- As the ingratitude of
the men is great! ». 31 and, under
the weight of the pain, it added: «Give birth, give birth my! Am I your father;
you treat me this way? They are only here for love toward of you».
32 the to see him/it so, to
tied up hands, made a criminal, how much cost to my hard heart!-
33 heard Your voice in my
heart: «My daughter, is captured, I am handcuffed for love of you. I say for
love of you, because what I did for all the souls I personally did also it for
you.- Accompany me in my holy
Passion».
«Both my heart Your jail, but only of love»
34 were only everything,
without who comforted him/it, an attention used Him, love showed to Him.
35 how much suffers me I
tried! I didn't almost tell Him nothing, for how much I wanted to tell a lot
him: could not console him/it; I didn't know how to love him/it!
36 my miserable heart would
have liked to launch him to its feet to be from Him stamped on and humiliated.-
Would have liked to heat them to him with his love, and didn't have
him/it! 37
Jesuses, with a lot of softness, he/she invited me to stay with Him:
«You remain with me, my daughter, captured for my love. Me, for your
love, I allowed to capture; and from the love I remain still bound».
38 he is still bound by the
love in the Tabernacles, because now on the Earth it doesn't have other abode.-
39 my heart flew from the
jail to the Tabernacles. Indissoluble union!
40 embraced him/it and with
tenderness I told Him: «My Jesus,
comes in my heart: both this Your jail but alone jail of love. Don't allow that
I offend You, neither ever allows that others offend You! ».
41 felt the union of Jesus.
42 felt my wrists handcuffed
with the same chains. 43 seemed that my hair was soaked of blood; so also my dress,
that was glued to the body.- 44
felt the body very bruised and tired, 45
the closed eyes in the deepest sadness, the mute lips.
46 felt alone, while all
slept. 47
suffered for the abandonment in which you/they had left me those people
who were me more darlings.- Where
were their affirmations vanished not to abandon to me? 48 the silence
was deep. They reigned the darkness. Only pain murmured in the heart.
49 heard the pain of Someone
that he/she cried to realize how much I suffered: this pain was love of Mother.
In the silence, I united to that pain.
It goes to die, but it is the Life
50 seemed to me to wake up
suddenly me from a depth sleep.- 51
saw the cross, the crown of thorns, the scourges, the lance, the hammers,
the nails! 52
saw the mountain of the Calvary and, in top, erected the cross. There was
not anybody on that wood. Jesus made me understand that you/he/she was my cross
and he invited me to go verse of it of good wish.
53 that dreadful vision!
54 The death, the death! I
go to die! I went to die, but, at the same time, I was the Life.
55 saw his/her Mother,
standing in front of me, with sad semblance, but as to take nourishment. I felt
stronger, thanks to his image engraved in my heart.- 56 with
Jesus stormed among all the sufferings.
«As soon as it was day... they made to conduct Jesus in front of the
Jewish court» (Lc
22,66)
57 came me to take to the
jail. 58 felt that they opened the doors and they conducted out me.
59 attended me a great crowd
of people; my God, how much sneer I heard!
60 the pain of my soul was very great! I don't know him/it to
say, I knew only it to feel. 61
went down the staircases of the jail; that tiredness, mine! At the end of
them I stumbled and I fell. I could not rise again.
62 fell on me the jailers: what an infernal anger, that unloads
of slaps and of kicks! 63
through great stairways, were conducted immediately to the presence of
the judges. How much I suffered to feel Jesus, greatness without equal, be so
small in front of them, be really a nothing!-
And them, the true nothing, full of pride and vanity; full of greatness
without any power! The Powerful person was lowered and they was raised in their
pride those that didn't have anything.
«Once more Pietro it said that it was not true, and a rooster
immediately sang» (Gv
18,27)
64 saw the brazier near
which the enemies of Jesus were heated; among them there was a woman, false and
provocative, that acted from messenger. 65
a few far there was one, petrified and timid, that was approaching
himself/herself/itself: Pietro. 66
were questioned by those people;
what malicious looks were exchanged among them!
67 that I wait astute had
the woman while, as a police officer, Pietro investigated!-
68 saw Pietro while Jesus
denied; but I felt that you/he/she did only it for fear.
69 the rooster sang. I felt in the soul his song. Pietro retired
for crying. Its tears flowed in my heart as two rivulets. 70 as his
repentance were great! 71 had the same pain of repentance for my sins!
72 the rooster sang in my
heart repeated times. Jesus horribly suffered, but in silence.
73 felt his endless pain and
his tame love toward everybody. How much bitterness, how much sadness in the
Heart of that innocent lamb!
«Then Jesuses brought from the building of Caifa to that of the Roman
governor» (Gv
18,28)
74 my soul again Jesus
accompanied to the courts. 75
my heart and my soul crossed with Him the roads, of court in court, among
the shouting of hates, calumnies, insults and schemes.-
76 were gone out of the jail
that it was darkness; and darkness they were the roads that I slowly crossed.-
77 tightly proceeded with
the tied up hands, but oppressed it was the heart: stentava to palpitate. Yet my
lips were not opened for pronouncing word.-
78 heard the suffering for the betrayal and all those from it
you derive. Among the maltreatments, the noise, the schemes, the heart felt an
insane love, an inexpressible affection, even for the traitor!-
Oh, if he wanted to return to this heart! If wanted to become reconciled
himself/herself/themselves! 79
the heart murmured: «I am
thirsty of your anime:voglios possess her».
«It also Erodes it was in Jerusalem.
Husked it ordered that Jesus was brought by him»
(Lc 23,7)
80 were questioned by
arrogant gentlemen, full of haughtiness: convinced to be able to do everything.
In front of so much greatness, as I was small!
81 accompanied Jesus to the
building of it Erodes, with great repugnance.
82 had of forehead that
whole malice, that full conceitedness of falsehood; his haughtiness and the
empty authority.- 83
saw and inclusive well the whole malice of the you Erode.-
84 felt to low eyes, mute lips, covered of an old mantle to hear
the schemes and the din of the people. 85
how much pain in the being treated as crazy person! But this madness was
love, it was folly for the souls. 86
returned from Husked. 87
felt the great one inexpressible haughtiness of those people that heads
were retained. I heard the humility and the littleness of Jesus.-
«Then Husked takings Jesus and it did him/it whip»
(Gv 19,1)
88 were municipal to the
scourging. 89 saw the ways you bream with which Jesuses stripped up to the
waist 90 and they tied then It to
the column with big iron chains.- 91
felt knelt and tied up to the column. A rain of scourges fell on my body
and a rain of shreds of my meat and drops of my blood it fell around me the
ground and those people who surrounded me.-
92 my body was lacerated with iron little balls or similar
things. 93 seemed to me the whole body it was a bloody wound.
94 fell worn-out to the feet
of the column. And I saw Jesus inside of me in the same suffering.
95 felt his divine looks
raise I spill his Eternity Father, in an inexpressible love.
96 felt that Jesus tilted
the head above the breast, you/he/she shut the eyes, you/he/she was about to
exhale. This scene was repeated more than once.
«The soldiers wove a crown of thorny branches and him the miserable one
in head» (Gv 19,2)
97 saw the head Jesus's
sacrosanto crowned of thorns, which got body to the divin a bath of blood. I saw
him/it, and it was me: I was, as He, flagellated and crowned with the same crown
of thorns.- 98
felt the great helmet of acute thorns violently confitte in my head:-
someone with rods beat her to make to penetrate even more her deeply.
99 The crown the forehead
didn't encircle only me: there was not part of the head that was not wounded of
it. Pains were unbearable. 100
that rain of blood fell from my head, crowned of thorns!-
101 didn't see us for the
great abundance of blood that flowed on the face.-
I could not move because I had the tattered meats.
102 covered with king dresses, but for sneer, they put me in hand
a reed. How much barbarity, against me! How much the number of those people was
great that were striven to invent great tortures!
«Jesus came out with the crown of thorns and the mantle.-
Husked it said: Here is the man» (Gv
19,5)
Subsequently 103 saw the
staircases along which Jesus climbed, after having been flagellated, and where
he left well visible traces of his divine blood. 104 felt
conducted by someone, that shook to me the hand, to the balcony of Husked.
105 had the painful aspect
of the «ecce homo»:- 106 the
head covered with thorns, the face soaked of blood, the body all wounded and
lacerated.- I saw and I heard the
great crowd that to an only voice, well distant from the possession pity of me,
shouted asking my crucifixion. 107
my ears felt to articulate: «Dies! Is condemned!»
Oh, what shouts, those of the crowd! I felt the sneer of some that
you/they listened to that numerous and scurvy herd that death row inmate wanted
me. 108
Ricevettis death's sentence. 109
saw the cross that, after a little while I would have felt on the
shoulders.
«Husked it said: Pick him/it up and put him/it you in cross. For me,
you/he/she has not hurt anything of» (Gv
19,6)
110 the people, numerous, as
in a party, you/he/she had waited for seeing Jesus and you/he/she had wanted to
hear the sentence: now rejoyced to hear the sentence to death!
111 felt the hardness of all
that hearts: the they were not moved to see flagellated Jesus, crowned of thorns
death row inmate! 112
Jesuses, innocent, it didn't have a word against that people.-
It suffered in silence. Everything accepted, while his divin Heart madly
loved even more.- 113
some stared at him/it with compassion; others with hate. More over
his/her/their Mother it appeared Him; from another part the Veronica, then still
some women. 114
my soul saw her great mountain of the Calvary and, on the top, already
erected the cross on which I had to be crocifissa. This cross reached the Sky:
he/she forced him/it to open himself/herself/themselves and it did him/it be
resplendent.
THE SLOPE Á. THE CALVARY
«The watches did him/it go out of the city forcing him/it to bring the
cross on the shoulders» (Gv
19,17)-
1 Ricevettis
the cross. 2
take her me: I felt that they put her/it to me on the
shoulders. 3
folded up, crushed by his weight, I fell under in the same I post where I
was. 4
seemed to me to sink under the ground.
5 made me remember my crucifixions: I felt the same I
weigh some cross that made me faint. 6
under that overwhelming load, as did I walk? As I was a vermiciattolo of
the earth, hidden in it. 7 walked for sad
roads. Yes, there was no light; they were dark. He/she heard only you the sneer
and the din of the people. 8
the whole humanity filled those roads! The cross, Jesus, I, wound there
in it: it was as a roll that always rolls.
9 walked dead along the
slope of the Calvary. And above my death I brought the death of the whole
humanity: what a weight on me! 10 on my
shoulders didn't bring only the cross but the whole world: I felt well it.
His/her Mother is opened a passage among the people
11 heard the tumult of the
people. 12 were
everything one cry and a cackle behind of me. They were not cries of
pain, but of hate and of insult.- 13
saw the crowd that accompanied me: few friends, almost only hostile! The
friends were moved; the enemies unloaded lashes on my body, without compassion
neither pity. 14
the heart felt far also the guffaws that came from, dense of sneer and of
satisfaction.- - 15 together with Jesus
the two robbers walked, with his/her own crosses. 16 the soul saw
his/her Mother, to face almost covered, to walk all in tears, very hurriedly, to
the search of Jesus.- 17 were
opened a passage among the people, to see where you/he/she could meet
him/it. 18
heart of mine realized how much it suffered its Heart of Mother and with
what anxiety She went to the search.-
19 its Heart bursted and was dissolved in pain, making to burst
and to dissolve in pain that of Jesus. 20
for how much they were not seen, I felt the union, the pain, the
bitterness of the one and the other Heart.
«A group of women they fought the breast and they made complaints on Him»
(Lc 23,27)
21 almost to the principle,
Jesus fell: it was seriously hurt the face and the breast.-
22 the exhaustion, the
sadness and the wounds of Your body were reproduced in mine.
23 fell another it turns; and I also fell. 24 in the falls,
the thorns more and more deeply penetrated: the head was only a pain; the face,
crushed and bloody, it every time the stones on which it beat.
25 blood strained - or I
felt better as if it strained -; it passed me to the lips, it suffocated me: the
breath sometimes missed me. 26
for the overwhelming load, curve and the wound of the shoulder I walked
it was increased. Since I went a lot of curve, I felt and I saw to fall from my
eyes to the ground you frequent tears of blood. 27 followed me
some women: they cried bitterly to the sight of so many sufferings.-
While I was walking, I stared at her with looks of compassion. The heart
murmured them: «You don't cry for me, but for you. You cry your guilts:
I am the cause of my pains».
Jesus invites to follow him/it bringing his/her own cross,
28 in front of me Jesus
walked with the cross on the shoulders.- It
turned back at times his holy face:- it
fixed on me his looks full of tenderness, inviting me to follow him/it and to
bring Him my cross. 29
so sweet looks that they invite and they attract to themselves the souls!
I could not withstand that invitation; I didn't hold up to that pain.-
30 strongly embraced my
cross and runs a lot of road: I loved with the whole love the thorns that wound
my head. 31
felt as if I were me to bring on the top of the mountain that whole load,
with all the tools of martyrdom.- - I brought them with so much love, I strongly tightened
them to me and I guarded them as they were the greatest treasure:-
they were the keys for the Sky. 32
The cross burdened on me. But Jesus didn't leave me alone: it accompanied
me, it helped me to bring her/it.
The love forces him/it to climb
33 fell varied times for the
weight of the cross. 34 were
dragged for varied meters through ropes, with the facing earth. Great
wounds stayed me on the cheeks, for the meats lacerated that they remained on
the stones her.- 35 in a
fall the exhaustion was such that I was not able of to rise again. An infernal
fury threw above to me with great cruelty:
36 were dragged back to the
for many lines! 37 felt the ropes to the waist and the neck that cut me.
38 were as a ball that
rolled from the tall one in low and from the lower part aloft, among the
sufferings. I was the ball of fun of the executioners! I went down, when I was
dragged by the fury; I salivate, when violence made me climb. But, above all,
the love moved me. 39
my eyes were refused to fix the horrible poverties that I felt.
40 went blind in the
direction of the pain; but I saw well us in the direction of the love: it was
the love that he/she forced me to walk and to win.
41 salivate the slant with
all the sufferings, but I salivate him/it with the whole love to give the life.
42 stronger, a great deal
stronger than the fury of the jailers it was the strength of the love that
dragged me.-
His/her Mother meets
43 came me meeting his/her
Mother. 44 intensely looked me; I intensely looked at you.-
Our hearts were united in the same pain.
45 how many things were said each other! I exchange him/it of
our looks it was brief: dovetti to continue abused, push, dragged.-
46 without time to be able
to contemplate her/it, for cause of the hurry of whom dragged me, the tied up
heart to You stayed me. I always walked. She also walked, driven by my look,
that had hurt her and attracted the heart and the soul.
47 in the whole run not perdetti never the union with You: I
didn't drag only the cross, but I also dragged you, or, I dragged better his
pain. 48
our hearts, in the pain, they were not separated: they were united as
from two threads of electric tide.- 49
accompanied me, distant in appearance, but in reality to me united. Our
hearts suffered only in a heart. Our tears had the same bitterness, the same
pain, the same feelings. 50
our hearts were uninterruptedly spoken.
He/she kisses the earth in which is hurt
51 walked silent: the soul
cried, while the heart bled. 52
above of me it weighed the awful mountain of the whole humanity.
53 anxious to give the life,
I felt as if to every footstep I made an excavation in the hardest rock: rock
that I had to soften with my blood. 54
to half the walk, great it was the fall and the discharge of scourges on
my body. 55
remained with an earth knee and the other lifted. To a brutal sharp tug
of the ropes, that seemed more infernal than terrestrial, I fell in before. The
thorns of the head were driven in deeply; my face was actually hurt to show the
bones. The lips were opened to me bloody; and I kissed the earth in which I
hurt. 56 the looks of
my soul were extended on the humanity.- What
looks! how many things expressed! To how many things invited her/it!
The brave gesture of the Veronica
56 proceed injured in the
whole body: my eyes and also the ears drip blood. My head is only wet thorns in
the blood. To every violent sharp tug of the ropes, my bones seem to dislocate
him. 57 come me meeting a woman, the dear woman that has compassion
of my pain. With what delicacy and love cleans me the face from the sweat, from
the blood, from the dust! Ties of the most narrow friendship tie our hearts. And
inexpressible what I would like to say of her; the praises that I would like to
do her. As I would like that was spoken of this so heroic action of his!
58 feel that my face and the
love of my heart - that it is not my love - they stay I engraved in the cloth.
59 she tightens her/it to
the heart as the greatest treasure; and is him/it in truth!
60 that portrait without
equal you/he/she will actually be contemplated at the end of the world.-
61 Jesuses not only Your
engraved face left her, but it gave together her, as I reward, its Heart
inflamed of love.- What gratitude,
that of Jesus! 62
what great reward ricevette from Him!
63 I also knew how to love Jesus as the Veronica loved him/it!
In a fall it faints under the weight of the cross
64 fell under the weight of
the cross. An arm of the same one struck me the breast and hurt me the heart. I
remained fainted for some instants. The jailers fixed me incuriositi, believing
me dead. A new fury dragged me with strength, making me bump in the stones of
the road:- new sources of blood
were open from the thorns of my head. But, also so, from my heart love and
compassion it gushed out only for the jailers. The march resumptions,
accelerated more still; the anger of the jailers craved to see me on the top of
the Calvary:- they wanted to
complete their wicked intents. Jesus whispered in my heart:
«Because you hurt me so, if I go to die for you? ».
65 his/her Mother, with the
cross hands, Jesus followed, pierced through of pain.-
66 followed him/it in painful weeping. Some women accompanied
her. 67 Jesus walked, but as who looks back, to stare at his blessed
Mother. 68 that pain, that of his/her/their Mother, not to be able to
draw near himself/herself/themselves to Jesus and to raise again him/it in his
falls! You/he/she would have liked to kiss him/it, to clean him/it to wash him
the wounds with his tears. 69
behind a woman walked: I didn't see her the face, but only a thick
loosened hair.
«They
stopped a certain native Simone of Cirene; they loaded on his shoulders the
cross and they forced him/it to bring her/it behind Jesus»
(Lc 23,26)
70
were about to exhale to every
footstep. I fell, and above of me the cross fell. Not for pity, but for fear
they wanted someone who brought her/it.- There
was who kept on bringing her/it: not for love, but for imposition. 71 this help was
not voluntary: not of it ricevetti consolation.-
72 nevertheless I felt that
my heart distributed him so much love. 73
were alone toward the top of the
mountain that the cross was removed by me. But I felt as if I always brought the
weight of it. 74
almost walked without life and as if I brought the cross. The blood that
I poured was turned into bonds that united to me to it.
75 The lips were shut, but the heart seemed to talk to all to
show to all of its love.- 76
loved who, in the trip, he/she comforted me and it gave tests of
affection; it loved who abused me and he/she despised.
77 my heart seemed to cover all the Earth. 78 seemed that a
heart so much lover could not be contained in my breast. Its love seemed to burn
all of my being.
The
ardent thirst of the heart it is the strength of his to walk
79
a Life from the tall one sustained my body, already almost cadaverous.
80 were in a worse state of
that of a leper in undoing.- The
heart advanced anxious: it had to win, it had to die for the souls.
81 The thirst of the heart,
thirst to die, thirst to open the Sky to make the sun appear and to shine in the
souls, grew, it was done more and more long live as more him approssimava the
top and the moment to give the life.- Unbearable
thirst, inexpressible thirst: thirst that it was not mine.
82 my dying lips were thirsty, but the heart was thirsty even
more: he/she wanted to drink the bitterness up to the last drop; everything
wanted to suffer, because it had love for everybody. Everything wanted to give
for everything to receive. 83
The ardent thirst that I brought in the heart it was the strength of mine
to walk.
Death's
mountain for Jesus, of life for the humanity
84
life ran away! the top didn't arrive!
85 The mountain was raised,
it was raised. 86
seemed to reach the clouds! 87
were very tall: from the earth
reached the sky! And me, without strength to climb!
88 how much more I walked,
more I came less; while taller, difficult and painful I saw the mountain.-
89 how much more him
approssimava the end, more difficulty became the slope: more agony, more blood,
more abandonment, more pain. 90
could not make a footstep without feeling my meats fall to pieces him
and my nerves to be destroyed himself/herself/themselves. 91 the results
of blood were almost continuous. The exhaustion folded up me to earth.
92 all the sufferings that I
saw before they pressed me on the heart: it was an oppression that suffocated
him/it and it killed him. 93
an irresistible love tied to me more and more to the cross.-
The love went beyond all the pains.
94 in this folly of love him
approssimava the top. For me and for Jesus that in me saliva was mountain of
death, but it was about to become mountain of life for the humanity.-
Pain increased together with the love.
The
soul includes the mysteries of the suffering
95
everything of my way of living was absorbed in the painful Passion of
Christ. My heart, ardent of love, it was tied up to the celestial Father:-
it was Him that I loved; it was for Him that I loved the souls.- 96 went,
or it seemed to me to go, through another world, superior to this, while my
heart here in low it suffered the saddest and deep pain. Was very small for so
much to suffer! 97 the heart loved and there, on the top that reached the sky,
the soul saw the cross of Jesus and Him in it confitto. I had to unite to Him.
98 The cross was a
lighthouse of light that entered my breast to illuminate everything. I felt
attracts of it. To embrace her/it, to possess her/it, kept on walking.
99 were cross of triumph,
that shone more than the sun. 100
my walk is thorns and blood; and Jesus, everything wounded, is cross,
pain and love. 101
what inexpressible secret saw my soul in so great sufferings, in so much
painful I travel and, finally, on the Calvary! The black darkness of the night
they didn't prevent but the soul you/he/she could sound all that secret, that
only the wisdom of a God is able and knows how to reveal.
102 were secret mysteries of
Redemption. 103
united to this wisdom, of which nothing knows how to say, I felt forced
to suffer and to agonize.
«Walks!
I will help you»
104
went along the Calvary, sad and humiliated. Always the same worm to open
the walk without losing the Life of the Sky.
105 were such and so many
the sufferings, that I didn't hold up:- I
felt to miss, I was not able of it more. He/she
was exhausted 106 the body; he/she was worn-out the soul. 107 appeared me
Jesus with his divine Heart, not suffering, but full of glory. From everything
of his holy body, but with great abundance from his I ascertain open, bright
rays of fire went out, that came verse of me. Jesus lifted the hands and, with a
finger aimed toward the Sky, you/he/she told me: «It walks, that I will help
you». 108 walked making to fall, as dew of only love, a lot of tears on
Jesus and his cross. I went, but I didn't bring the cross: I didn't bring
anything. Someone thought her/it and it brought for me. It was Jesus the cireneo
of all of my days, the cireneo of every moment of my life.-
109 my heart was not
detached by Jesus: only from Him I waited for the strength. My eyes could not be
detached from the sky. I walked, but always with the well fixed looks there.-
The Sky, the Sky, the goal of mine to suffer! To give honor and glory to
my God and to save the souls.- To
accept and to do the wish of his/her/their Father.
110 blessed the cross!
Benedetto Jesus that so gives her/it for me!
The
love wins, despite everything
111
the gasping heart seemed to burst for the strong desires to perceive new
worlds of purity and love to deliver to Jesus.-
112 the love won, despite that it seemed to me to drag to work
with me the world. 113
were not that I walked: it was another Life that my being had. This Life
opened a new walk in the walks of the bitterness.-
However these stayed soft, irrigated with my blood.-
114 my body gave blood as a public fountain: it irrigated the
walks for which it passed. 115
seemed that I was me to scatter blood along the Calvary; but, at the same
time, the blood of Jesus irrigated me and a new street opened to me that
conducted me to its divin Heart. It was unique away, the Street of salvation.
116 felt that Jesus brought
me with Itself. He was the wayfarer and the convict. It was he who it suffered.
But it transmitted his pain to my heart. 117
The road to his divin Heart was open. All had the permission to cross
her/it. It seemed dug among rocks of stone, from which masterpieces could be
drawn; but it was necessary that you/they were irrigated with the blood of
Jesus, and they were him/it in truth. But it was not enough yet: it was
necessary to give the life. And they were these the gasps of Jesus.
What
a deadly tiredness at the end of the slope!
118
by now next to the top of the mountain, I felt Jesus die. You/he/she
could not make a footstep anymore: it did more road cruelly dragged, than it did
with his feet of it. He/she didn't see us for the eyes glued by the blood. And
its holy body was icy even before to be on the cross.-
119 at the end of the trip,
felt in my heart that Jesus fell. He/she wanted to rise again
himself/herself/themselves and it was not able: the suits were entangled; the
exhaustion didn't allow him him. The jailers dragged him/it with the ropes for
some meters. 120
in my heart saw him/it and I felt him/it raise the eyes to the Sky in
attitude to ask help.- 121
his divine eyes, shut or almost toward the world, they were open toward
his Eternity Father.- 122
I felt in me the exhaustion of Jesus. I wanted to climb and I was not
able. I wanted to help him/it but, earth as I was, it didn't find me possible.
123 that deadly tiredness,
at the end of the slope! 124
that pain, mine: leave so alone Jesus!
125 in everything associated
to Him and with Him I wanted to die, for what I saw that was a dreadful death.-
- 126
to all submitted, winning my repugnance for love of Jesus.-
127 were very long the trip!
It didn't seem to me of some times, on the contrary of years, of many years.
ON THE TOP OF THE CALVARY
Death
is offered to
1
came without strengths without life. I brought in the heart an immense
weight. 2 fell
worn-out with the facing earth near the already open hole, in which you/he/she
had to be plants the cross. 3 felt as if it came above of me a world of beasts. What an
anger and that hangs immense me scancarono I set!-
The heart was oppressed and pulsated in great affliction:-
it seemed to me to exhale to every instant.
4 that discouragement I feel in me! And discouragement of love.
All causes me horror: the death! the death, the abandonment or my God! In knee,
I lift the eyes to the eternity Father. The dò my sign of acceptance to
everything. I volunteer to the death. Down the eyes: I pick up them in me and,
in the most intimate embrace, I lace all to my heart. 5 to embrace
what causes me boredom and nausea!
You/he/she
is stripped
6
removed from me the ropes that the neck and the waist encircled me:
atrocious pains! You/they were penetrated me in the meat, drenching
himself/herself/itself of blood. While you/they were being torn, they left me on
the body you mark of great wounds. 7
when they stripped me, they did him/it with so much fury that shreds of
meat tore together with the dresses:- violent
pains! 8
the eyes could not open for the blood, but shame forced me to maintain
more tightly them closed: being naked in public!
9 only the Grazia divines you/he/she could hold me standing. I
express better: I don't say of me, but of Jesus. 10 immediately
felt that his/her Mother wanted, with his mantle, to cover Jesus that was me.
11 relived the shame of
Jesus: such a deep thing! I don't know what name to give to her.
12 what nudity, the Your,
what modesty without equal!- 13 the whole body trembled of it; the face remained as red hot.
14 were a lot of the
laughters of sneer that echoed on the whole Calvary!-
15 every now and then Jesus
lifted toward the Sky his looks; you/he/she lowered again then them for more
intimately to suffer in his heart.
«Hands
and feet have pierced me.
A
turma of iniquitous they look me disdainful»
(Sal 21,17)
16
stretched me on the cross. 17
felt as if I were me same to stretch me on the wood and to hand hands and
feet to be crocifissa.- It was an
eternal embrace to the cross to the work of Redemption.
18 The limbs of Jesus were
in mine and in mine its divin Heart it was. We were only us two in a body to
suffer. The crucifixion was violent. I felt as if the braccias and the legs tore
to me, as much it was the strength with which you/they threw to her to make to
reach her the point marked on the cross. 19
that I shout painful of help went out of my intimate toward the eternity
Father! What suppliant looks went out of my eyes to fix the firmament to induce
him/it to compassion!- 20
saw the soldier that, with great cruelty, it gave the hammered ones: it
was fearless, it had the cruel and appalling look.-
21 saw him/it lift aloft the hammer, and, with all strength, to
make to fall him/it on the nail. 22
in my breast played again the hits
of hammer.- I remained with my
wrists and open feet, as you/they were pierced through:
23 felt that from the wounds
of the nails jet of blood went out.-
24 tried as if another nail,
rougher and painful, confitto came me in the heart.-
The
hammered ones boom far, but don't move the hearts-
25
were painful the opening of the
sore. 26 felt as if the nails pierced me all the nerves.
27 didn't feel him tear only
the feet and the hands but the whole breast: it seemed not to have anything
inside; everything had been emptied. 28
pain grew so much that, if it were for a miracle, that instant would have
been the last of my life. 29
when then the cross was turned, to beat the nails, my face was very
wounded against the ground and went out of the lips a surge of blood.
30 when the was painful to
flow back a little bit some beaten nails! 31
all the pains of the wounds and the fury of the soldiers were struck
again in my heart and I felt as if the soldiers broke to me him and they grinded
to bites, as much was their anger!- 32
saw the languages swearers that against me. 33 my ordeal, my
ordeal! 34 were
Jesus to be wounded, I was not me. But I don't know how to express to me
in other form. 35
the hits that hammered the nails were not extended only for the Calvary,
but they seemed to echo in the world.-
36 neither the strong
hammered that boomed far, neither the sight of so much to suffer they moved the
hearts!- -
«With
Him other crocifissero two, one from a part and the other from the other»
(Gv 19,18)
37
Crocifissas, were lifted aloft. 38
what pains I felt in all the sore, when they allowed to heavily fall so
much the cross in the hole! Seemed to me to fall in a well!
39 for the jolts of the
cross, him rincrudirono more the wounds of the thorns. It gushed out a rain of
blood that the face bathed me of it. 40
my body was covered with thorns, as it was a curl: it was everything
pain, it was everything blood. 41
in cross, anymore my cry I didn't stop to the Sky: «I help, I help! ».
42 were with Jesus very
nailed to Your pain that there was void not that it separated us. 43 to the sides
of Jesus were crucifixes the two robbers. I felt that their sufferings, their
crosses increased the load on me: above the cross of Jesus that was me. I felt
to go out of the divine Heart of Jesus the same love, the same graces; one
accepted her, the other rejected her.
«Close
to the cross some women were: Jesus's Mother... and the preferred disciple»
(Gv 19,25-26)
44
so afflicted hearts surrounded the cross!
45 Giovanni, the three Maries...
46 but the heart of
his/her/their Mother it didn't not at all resemble to that any others.
47 with the fixed eyes on
Jesus, She agonized with Him, while two sources of tears flowed for its face.
48 Jesus didn't see with his
human eyes the weeping of the dear Mother, because you/he/she held them I now
closed, now lifted to the Sky; but all saw and he heard with his eyes and divine
ears.- - 49
penetrated the whole pain that in the more intimate of the heart made her
agonize. 50
from the tall one of the cross whispered: «Mother, my Mother, even you
are me of martyrdom! Your pain increases mine: you cannot even give to me
relief! ». 51
she murmured: «You are me child, I am your mother: my agony is your
agony». 52 his/her Mother,
how much has suffered with Jesus! On the cross, it was only Him with you a
heart, an only soul, an only pain, an only love.
53 me as Jesus, wanted to
dry the tears of his/her/their Mother, to pick her/it up in womb to do her what
well soon She would have done to Jesus, already dead. 54
I continually felt the need to embrace myself to tighten more in me the
heart of his/her/their Mother.- More
She suffered, more self I loved her, more I felt her my Mother.-
55 on the cross were us
three in the same pain.-
«My
suits divide among them, on my dress they throw the fates»
(Sal 21,19)
56
saw to pile up the dresses of Jesus, then to cut her and to draw her.
57 felt as if the sword had
done in my heart the great cut done on the red mantle: it didn't hurt the cloth,
but it hurt me. 58
hurt me the cruel wickedness with which you/they did him/it.
59 some parts of the
dresses, very soaked of blood, they were glued in my soul. As I felt her to the
alive one! Blood and meats of the innocent Jesus, in the pieces of his dresses!
60 for the weight of the
body, the sore were lacerated more and more; 61
blood fell from the hands and from the feet in abundance.- 62 for the
violence of the pain felt as if a vein was opened near also the heart:-
a lot of blood that in the body been spread for then gushing out from all
the wounds went out from there. 63
felt all the sore, but more warmly that of the shoulder; while the waist
seemed to still be cut by the ropes.-
64 the nerves waved: it
seemed that they were contracted. 65
pain reached its apex.
What
greed to see to disappear him/it to every cost!
66
have felt the helmet of thorns
tighten on the head:- it caused me
so much pain to make to almost lose the senses; the heart almost stopped
palpitating. They were not hands that in the tall one of the cross they strongly
compressed me the helmet, but it was the most infernal grudge of so many hearts.
67
I felt as if they flagellated me and they sputtered, also being in
cross.- I felt the scourges in the
soul, as if you/they were given to me in the body.
68 in to hear the most
defamatory insults, felt to flow on my body rivulets of a sweat of death.
69 seemed that the whole
body and the soul were torn by the pain, to similarity of a cloth torn thread
for thread. 70
cost to me so much the cruel ingratitude of that disdainful and proud
people that crowded the Calvary!- 71
felt that in many hearts it increased the hate, the aversion against
Jesus, the greed to see to disappear him/it from their looks; pits as it was, it
cost what it cost.- 72
the innocent Jesus was in a continuous moan.
The
Passion of Christ is renewed in every time
73
so that of insults, torments, wickedness fell on me.
74 didn't feel only the
maltreatments of the Calvary, on the contrary those of the whole humanity.
75 I saw everything through
the times, everything. 76
from the cross observed the evil that in the whole world, in to flow some
times, you/they would have renewed the Passion of Christ, that was dressed again
of me.- - 77
felt the affronts of the whole humanity, person for person: some raged
with the maximum cruelty and wickedness; others, forced, and even irresponsible
of the evil that you/they did. 78 felt everything; everything was me before: the past, the
present, the ingratitude and the wickedness of the future.- 79 wanted
to be able to cry my guilts and those of the whole humanity; I wanted the pain
and the repentance of the Maddalena; but no, I didn't have him/it! I had only
anxieties to embrace me to the cross for love of Jesus.
80 felt embraced to it. I
wanted to suffer, I wanted to die. 81
my dead ordeal had tears; these tears dipped in itself the whole
humanity.- This death shouted and
together had an endless pain and endless anxieties to give the life.-
From
the love for the cross trees of life are born
82
me, crocifissa, kept on feeling that my body was not if not a dead body.
My life was Jesus in my heart. Me died, but with Him I went to live. The
his/her divin Heart in agony greedily drank the whole suffering, in the
anxiety to communicate to me its Life and to make to live of it.-
83 clearly saw that its pain
was manna, fertile balm, life for the souls.-
84 seemed that my heart was turned all into that of Jesus: it
was everything love. It was thirsty of suffering, because he/she saw that only
this, with the death, you/he/she could give the life and to open the Sky. I
delivered, I gave all to the martyrdom. 85
remained on the cross and I were the cross. From my heart bonds that
bound her/it went out: they were bonds of love. This love put roots from the
cross I pour the Earth; from them flourishing trees were born, trees of life. I
was everything this and from everything this I ran away.
86 the divine Heart of Jesus
didn't stop in me to love. It was in my heart that He loved the whole humanity.-
And I could not stop loving the cross: I saw and I felt that only the
cross was life. 87
with open braccia and eyes to the Sky, me offersi to his/her Father as
victim; to the humanity offersi the heart and the love.
The
Heart, before from the lance, it is open from the love
88
blood irrigated the Calvary. And
it was as if it irrigated the whole world, everything there present.
89 saw that the world ran
away from that blood, and I wanted to save him/it: with other mean you/he/she
cannot be saved. 90 were
so many those people who despised him/it and they ran away him/it to
giant footsteps! It is Jesus, insane of love, without being able to detach the
braccias from the cross, he/she called them and he/she invited them to enter his
divin open Heart. 91
desired to free the braccias to show him/it to the world and to tell him:
«Before being pierced through by the lance, you/he/she is torn by the
love: be for receiving you! ». 92
the Heart was open in an endless abyss of love and pardon.-
93 Jesus loved, Jesus loves;
Jesus forgave, Jesus forgives. Incomparable goodness!
94 its answer to everything
was and is: bitter, to love of an endless love.
95 The road to the divine
Heart of Jesus was always opened; it was bright. It gave passage to how much
they wanted. Oh, if my soul in its ignorance knew how to show the endless beauty
of that road that, at the same time, was for Jesus I motivate some greatest
agony! So much small was the number of those people that went to his anxious
Heart; so much great was that of those people who were detached by Him and they
ran away for wrong paths!- -
«Ricevi,
my Father, the incense of this love! »
96
Jesus wanted to offer all to the eternity Father. And I wanted to offer
them to Jesus. So many refused to enter the divine Heart! What a humiliation!
what a shame! To nothing the sufferings of Jesus and its shed blood were worth!
To nothing my martyrdom was worth. Jesus was mortified in front of his Father.
And I was mortified in front of Jesus. My agony increased at the most. Jesus,
taking the wine glass of my heart, it lifted him/it the offerse repeated times
to the eternity Father saying,:- «Ricevi,
my Father, the tribute of this martyrdom, the incense of this love!
» In truth I wanted to
always have a turibolo of incense of love to offer to Jesus. 97 in a
painful martyrdom of soul and body, during the three hours of agony, I stared at
the divine Heart of Jesus.- 98
wanted so much to suffer me alone, to his place; and I didn't succeed to
anything. I offered with Him, with Him I agonized.
99 with the eyes of the soul to the Sky and the heart in God,
accepted everything: I loved and, since I loved, I suffered.
«Father,
forgive them, that don't know what they do! »
(Lc 23,34)
100 the soul
of Jesus cried; I felt its tears. I heard this moan of his Heart: «My children,
because you hurt me? Because you behave you this way? ».
101 in to receive the
insults and the maltreatments, silently and it murmured:-
«And so that you love me? Is it so that you reciprocate my love?».
But it immediately added: «Father,
forgive them, that don't know what they do! ».
102 the Heart loved so much:
it seemed to launch him to the feet of every creature to ask to let him
conquer.- 103
felt in the soul as a roar of scourges: not because the jailers
flagellated at that time me, but because they desired to do him/it. Jesus,
inside
to my breast, already almost dying for the pain angustioso caused by
those bad intentions, lifted the eyes to the eternity Father and murmured:-
«My father, costs to me the ingratitude; but forgives theirs that
doesn't recognize me for Your child! ». 104
felt that Jesus from the Calvary extended the looks to the whole
humanity. 105 palpitated of love for the hardened world and guilty; it
palpitated of pain in to ask his/her Father compassion.- -
«The time» of Christ and of Maria
106 his/her Mother, near the
cross, it united his tears to those of Jesus. How Jesus loved!
107 saw his tears and
strength of mind: it was held upright standing with the fixed eyes in his Jesus.
108 contemplated Your sore,
saw Your blood flow from the lacerated meats!-
109 wanted to embrace
him/it, to clean him the face covered of spits and of dust, everything bloody,
and to pick up so every drop of the precious blood, that was also his.- 110 wanted
to do to Him he/she anchors alive, what would have done Him after dead.
111 would have liked its
braccias to become wings to be able to fly until on the cross to embrace its
Jesus and to unite more it to itself.- Union
without equal! folly of pain and love!-
112 there were in their holy
Hearts the same pain and the same gasps: to welcome and to guard forever the
whole world, so much rebel and cruel.- As
his/her Mother loved! I participated some same love, of the same pain, of the
same joy.
His/her Father invokes
113 Jesuses could hardly
move the lips to shout invoking the eternity Father; but its heart was in a
continuous cry.- 114
This was raised to his/her Father, but it was for the world, that, hard
and deaf, he/she didn't listen to him/it neither it was moved.-
115 on the Calvary all
passed unnoticed: the cry, already dying, it didn't enter the ears neither it
penetrated in the hearts. 116 few times Jesus raised the looks to the eternity Father, but
the eyes of his soul were always fixed Him.-
117 with Jesus I also, with
Him I groaned, with Him I sympathized for the poor humanity. To his divine eyes
I united mine, already almost dying; we raised them to the Sky in great agony to
ask help.- - 118
or sad agony or darkness sorrowful!
119 or world or souls, how
much Jesus loved us. Let's love him/it us also! Our pain, in comparison to his,
it is a nothing. It was an endless pain, it was pain of a God done Man. Let's
love him/it, let's love him/it without stopping! Let's love him/it day and
night. My heart goes, as a lost birdie, to beg love, always love for Jesus.
His/her Father demands the reparation
120 or heart I love so much,
so much that didn't refuse to dress again him of all the dirty mud, to consume
him/it in itself and to make to disappear him/it. It loved so much, so much that
was delivered to his/her Father as offender of every guilt to mend her/it.-
It madly loved up to give the life, because we possessed the eternal Life
of the Sky. 121 were
abandoned from the eternity Father! I shouted, but without being
listened. 122 felt Jesus in cross, on the cross that I was me. It is me it
was also Him. A help was essential; a comfort was necessary. Instead of help and
comfort, I felt as if the Sky with the whole weight of its justice was lowered
for strongly crushing me against the great wood of the cross.-
Agony increased and with it the abandonment. The eternity Father didn't
give comfort. It only demanded the reparation. It was the Judge to wonder
account of all the guilts of the humanity.-
«My father, my Father! Have already given all; have already scattered
all of my blood! » 123
the weight of the divine justice above of me it was very great, endless:
seemed to get torn from the braccias of the cross to sink me in the Earth, be
the same Earth!-
«My God, because you have abandoned to me? » (Mc 15,34)
124 were night awful night!
125 or agony, or I abandon,
or obscurity! 126
shouted, I shouted without desisting:
«Father, my Father! Do You allow to me even? do You abandon to me even?
». 127 were not
that I shouted: it was my heart. I was not me that I wanted to shout, but they
forced me the violence of the pain and the agony.
128 dismayed for the
darkness and the abandonment, I heard to go out of the heart a lot of and a lot
of times the cry: «Father, Father, Father! Don't dissuade from me Your face!
Don't estrange from me Your looks! ». 129
my painful and dying cry echoed after all to the mountain:
130 echoed as dynamite in
the rock. But the Sky, yes, the Sky seemed closed for me.
131 remained on the cross
with Jesus and Him with me, in attends him to give the life for new lives. In
the extreme agony, Jesus inside of me shouted:
«Father, Father, my Father! ». The
world, as answered to this cry of agony, it gave cruelty, more cruelties;
ingratitude, more ingratitude.
«Give birth my, I am thirsty of you! »
132 felt a hot thirst and
the greatest of you abandon to him. It went out of my heart this cry:
I am thirsty, I am thirsty! ». Inclusive
that was of Jesus and I remembered that He was thirsty of souls.
133 the loving Jesus, among
the insults, it felt the devouring thirst of his divin Heart and it whispered,
full of tenderness and of affection:- «Give
birth my, I am thirsty of you! Is it so that you satiate me? ». 134 in the same
instant felt to pass on my lips, one and then another turns, a sponge. The
thirst of the lips remained; that of the heart increased!
135 were so ardent thirst,
that only the love of the hearts of the whole world could satiate.
136 the cry continued: «It is not the thirst of my lips, that I want satiated; on
the contrary that of the heart: be thirst of souls! ». 137 up to the
last moment, were this thirst the life of mine to suffer.
The love, united to the grace, it triumphs on the pain
138 on the top, not perdetti
the union with his/her/their Father. 139
felt in me two lives or two natures: one who didn't withstand so much
pain; the other that everything won. 140
brought me to agonize the vision of all the crimes of the ingratitudes
and wickedness of the whole humanity.-
141 In these times of agony, it was
the divine life that won in my injured body, cadaverous. The love, united to the
grace and the divine life, it triumphed on the pain, it triumphed on the death. 142 I gave the
same Life that I was to the world, that from his/her/their Father ricevevo.
143 still before exhaling I
felt that they pierced through me the heart: this pain was anticipated to me,
because, once dead, I would not have been able him/it to feel.
144 felt the lance open the
costs one and to enter thin to cross me the heart:-
the cut was as of sharp sword. 145
With the heart in that state, I launched a look to the world and I said:
«Is for you that I am this way! »
146 shouted to his/her
Father, but always resigned.
«Come for seeing the show they returned home the breast beating
himself/herself/itself» (Lc
23,48)
147 were done dark on the
Calvary. 148 many of those people that had made me suffer came down
frightened:- they went to hide
himself/herself/themselves the one behind the others as ants in his/her own ant
hill. 149 were
frightened: they feared some further event. Was the fear and not the love
the cause of their dismay! 150
little by little the Calvary
remained in the silence. The sighs of Jesus were heard only. Pain reigned,
increased by the grudge of many hearts that, smothered I don't know from that,
they didn't speak anymore. 151
after the maltreatments, the swearwords and the calumnies, remained to
feel that silence of the Calvary:- -
152 a saturated silence of
remorses. Only two Hearts, very united as if they were a solo, they were spoken
each other: they were only a pain, an only love. 153 his/her Mother,
to the feet of the cross, firm as a statue, it almost died of pain.
154 I felt that from the
Heart of Jesus they went down toward the Heart of his/her/their Mother a lot of
graces, a lot of life, a lot of love. All this assuaged to her the inexpressible
pain and it gave to her life to maintain it is settled without collapsing, up to
that He exhaled.- 155
only with the divine strength Her resistette without fainting.-
«I cannot do more»
156 in my breast felt the
strenuous breath of Jesus. 157
united to mine, his divin Heart also palpitated.
158 palpitated with so much
strength and rapidity that a pulsation didn't give time to the other.-
Its divine lips engraved in me, as in a disk:
«I am thirsty! ». My
heart, in to feel this, he/she understood the thirst of Jesus; it told him: «At
least me I was able to satiate you! ». 159
the eyes agonizzantis of Jesus remained in my soul an a little I left
half open to stare at the Calvary the humanity.- 160 were shut
then and He murmured: «I am about to die. You draw profit from my divin blood
and from my death, if you want to save you: I die for giving to you the Sky».
161 Jesus was exhausted:
he/she panted to die for giving light and to make to live.
162 his divin Heart said: «Give birth my, give birth my! I love
you so much up to die for you! 163
E' sews together the time of the love: I die for you; I cannot do more».
«My mother, ax the world»
164 felt that my heart was
with roots of love to all the human hearts.
165 and their ingratitude,
always to hurt me, always to go to the death.- 166 succeeded
in whispering to the whole world: «It is able, your ingratitude to demand more
from me? ». 167
and to his/her/their mother I murmured: «My mother, ax the world: be
yours! It is child of my blood; it is child of your pain. To save him/it, has to
cooperate with me». After this depth I whisper, with the eyes to the Sky, I
added: «All is consumed».
168 his/her Mother was
always as who, in the same cross, you/he/she participates some same pain, of the
same martyrdom and folly of love, in the same assignment of salvation.-
169 from You pour of me
there was a channel of salvation. Everything passed from my heart or, rather,
from the Heart of Jesus that was me, toward that of You. All the souls
ricevevano the graces and the fruits of the Redemption through his/her/their
Mother.- 170
very deeply and to the alive one I felt how much She cooperated with Him
to our salvation.- Than are her
debt!
Father, to You I entrust my life» (Lc
23,46)
171 felt that Jesus gave the
last drops of blood. They were fervent: it was the love that made her be
fervent.- 172
showing the divin to the world open Heart, it whispered:-
«For you I have latto given questo:ho everything the blood and I have
loved you up to not to be able more you bitter».
173 agonized and it repeated
more times: «Father, Father,
Father, accept my agony! 174 father, in your hands I deliver my spirit. Be for You my last
sigh! ». 175 not even
a cry, a moan was not even welcomed by the eternity Father!-
Even the delivery of the spirit seemed not to be welcomed!
176 agony of so much
affliction! I continually murmured: «Jesus,
Jesus! ». And I felt in me other
voice that repeated: «Father, to
You, in Your hands I deliver my spirit». 177
with Jesus went extinguishing me; with Him I felt to die.-
178 my body and my soul were
totally undone as for leprosy.- 179
the soul trembled for the pain and for the fear, as the body trembles for
the cold. 180 were
delivered to the abandonment. It was complete: I didn't have anything to
hope, even from the eternity Father!
Your strengths but not the Your love are exhausted
181 inside of me, Jesus was
exhaling: every now and then 182
uttered only a sigh; between the one and the other one he/she remained as
if it didn't have life. 183 ache could
shout Father to its Eternity. 184
were the last rattles. 185 neighbor to
give his last breath, for an impulse of the heart, they still came to his lips
some results of blood.- And they
flowed along his face the last tears. 186
saw him/it raise to the Sky for the last time his looks and to tilt then
the head. 187
felt as if He didn't dissuade the looks from his/her/their Mother.
188 went out of his Heart
you radiate bright toward the Heart of You, as they were Your goodbyes.
189 felt in my heart his
last looks and the sweetness and the love that it allowed to fall on me.
190 The tenderness of the
Heart of Jesus spread verse those people that were crucifixes to the sides: to
the right they were approved; to the left refused. I felt the revolt of he who
it refused her and the love of he who accepted her.
191 were exhausted Your
strengths, it came Him I lead the life; but it was not exhausted neither it came
I lead his divine love: it was spread for the whole Calvary, and from the
Calvary to the world as puff of life, as I perfume delicious.- -
The Life that had brought him/it on the Earth is reapproached to the Sky
192 in the anxiety to
totally give to me, in the more and more insane love, the moment came to give
the life.- 193 seemed to me not to have hands and feet anymore, so much
great they were the sore. And I didn't have heart that could be wounded over
anymore: 194 I was victim and wafer. Before exhaling, I felt as if I were
tied up to the cross from the head to the feet, with dreadful snakes: they were
as chains that tied me to the wood. They caused me fear. 195 on the top
of the mountain, awful mountain, kept on shouting; the violence of the pain, to
similarity of water that the wheel of the mill moves, it made to roll the
mountain. And this remained on me. 196
everything of my being was heart to love and to deliver to him to
his/her/their Father.- 197
the heart slowly went dying. And that Life that had brought me on the
Earth was again approached to the Sky.
«The sun was darkened and the great veil of the temple was torn to half»
(Lc 23,45)
198 the agony, so much
serious, it did yes that all of my being him squassasse, really actually to the
viscus. 199 felt as if they flowed me along the face and the body the
cold sweats of the death. 200
a painful cry, smothered, it passed for my heart: it was the last cry of
Jesus agonizzante. 201 were such I
strive him/it, such the violence of the pain, that Jesus seemed to detach
himself/herself/themselves from the cross.
202 the cry of agony,
painful, it played again in the whole Calvary or, better, I felt as if it echoed
in the whole world, and it shook everything.
203 moved and it removed the
Earth. 204 the sky seemed to open himself/herself/themselves in
breakings of fire. I heard as a to echo uproarious of thunders. 205 the veil of
the Temple was torn and fell. 206
all the earth trembled. It was a supreme power that did her/it shake.
207 felt as if the foot of
the cross was buried more… 208 That
fear, that fear came dahlia earth; that dismay came from the sky!
209 on the Calvary were
dark. They were opened great crepacci. All ran away. Only the souls friends of
Jesus remained. 210 the eyes of my soul were always fixed to the Sky to ask
pardon and mercy for the Earth.
The Sky reconciled with the Earth
211 felt, first in the heart
and then in the whole body, a spine-chilling cold: it was the death. Jesus
exhaled. 212 the mystery of the death reigned on the Calvary and in my
soul. 213 when Jesus exhaled, the Sky was opened. All of us could
already stop by the Calvary to the Sky. 214
at that time a prodigious mixture
happened between Sky and Earth:- two
remained in a solo. The Earth was reconciled with the Sky: all of us could now
live the same Life. 215
the Sky was united to the Earth in such way that made me feel and to
remember what from small I had seen:- I
mix him served as the baker in the cylinder; that wheel mixed everything. What a
movement! Sky and Earth, a same mass! 216
remained the Sky reconciled with the Earth. 217 a harmonious
sound filled Sky and Earth.
It frees the souls in attended
218 the Calvary was in
darkness. And
me come down in a place of darkness. And me same I was the light that everything
illuminated. I say «me» but I was not me, because I am darkness and death.-
It was that Life that he/she lived in me, that it triumphed on the
Calvary and on the Cross. 219
come down as in a hell but not a hell of fire, of curse and torments, on
the contrary to an alone hell of awful obscurity, where light neither joy didn't
enter:- it was a hell of blindness
and anxiety. I felt as if ours Mr. was in me, happy, with open braccia,
communicating his/her own joy to a crowd in attended.-
I felt that I went out from there again, bringing behind of me that
innumerable team of beings that you/they were not bodies.
220 heard the joy of the Sky and a lot of souls.
221 I felt and I saw
everything, but I was always absorbed in the pain, in the blindness and in the
death.-
His divine Life him it is saparata from me
222 fly his holy Soul. And I
had remained in the same pain of his/her/their Mother, to feel the same loss.
223 its divine Life was
separated by me. 224
stayed as if the soul had left me and I didn't have life anymore:
225 that Life from the tall
one had always been the strength of so much to suffer. 226 Jesuses had
exhaled; and I had remained in this tear: I didn't belong to God; I didn't
belong to the Earth. 227 The death of Jesus darkened the ordeal of my soul; 228
the silence of the death reigned in the ordeal of my soul.
After a little while 229 saw
to give the hit of lance in his divine costs.
230 were that He was pierced
through. 231
the Heart was pierced through: it gave the last drops of blood; 232
the last of his precious blood and, at the end, water's drops.
233 remained rays from the
Heart to illuminate the Earth; while the sun, as it was been ashamed, it was
hidden behind the clouds that together trembled to the ground of the Calvary.-
234 from all the sore rays
of light as rays of sun went out of cracks.
His/her Mother cries so many dead children for the sin
235 my soul saw Jesus while
you/he/she was being deposed by the cross: the dangling head, an arm already
unriveted; his/her Mother already sat, with open braccia, to receive him/it.-
I felt in me the body of Jesus without life, icy:-
I shivered. 236
felt as if Him, dead, same in me and also me, with Him, in the braccias
of his/her/their Mother: we were an alone body, an only dead body.
237 felt his/her Mother
tighten him/it to the Heart, to do him all that that had passionately desired a
little before to do him, in the tall one of the cross.
238 The tears of the dear Mother fell above my face.
239 I was Jesus and you it
was my Mother; I was the world and you it was the Mother of the world.
240 wanted to console her/it
and to embrace her/it and I was not able.-
It was then that Jesus, deader in me, but I live, it told me: «My daughter, the tears of my holy Mother are alike to those
that Her scattered, in another hour, above of me, on the Calvary. Today she
doesn't cry, to see the dead Child in his braccias, but he/she cries to see, in
the whole humanity, so many children, the greatest part of his children, dead
for the sin. What a pain, that of his holy Heart, and that pain that of my divin
Heart, for the vision of this loss, of this almost total death! Give to me your
pain: it mends our so wounded Hearts. Have courage! ».
I felt so much pain that seemed to me to die.
241 were the love that brought Jesus to give the life. And his/her
Mother continues the same mission: bitter us as Jesus.
«Christ is dead and you/he/she has returned in life to be the Lord of
the corpses and the alive ones» (Rm
4,9)
242 among the black clouds
of the death, Jesus stormed: it was raised aloft; it went to shine more over. It
won all and on all it triumphed. But I didn't accompany him/it in that victory,
in that triumph, in that light: I remained always in my pain, in my bitterness
and agony.- He went to the joy of a
bright triumph, but he/she remained always with me: united to me, turned into
me, it suffered. I would like to know how to speak of this splitting of Jesus:
in the joy and, contemporarily, in the painful union in my body. But I don't
know. What I know, it is that agony continued.
243 Jesus died and always
lived. I felt that He died and I felt that it kept on living. Or Life or
celestial Life!
«I call you with love of Father»
All of a sudden 244 were illuminated
all of my soul of a light that illuminated the world.
245 felt as if, from top to
fund, a veil was torn: Jesus appeared me with his Light and gave to me his Life.
246 resuscitated and it made
to resuscitate my soul. I felt that in my heart He said: «Hear, give birth my the voice of Jesus that calls you!
He/she calls you because it loves you. You listen with attention: be the time of
the Grazia that passes! Ricevetela, propitiate her/it, accept her/it! I beat
with insistence, I ask with the whole ardor of my heart: Come to me! I call you
with love of father».
«I believe, Jesus, believes»
247 in an acute anxiety
repeated my actions of faith: «I
believe, Jesus, believes that you/he/she was for me your Birth, your Garden,
your Calvary. I believe, Jesus, believes! ».
My abysses were very dismal and you lavish that only a God could
penetrate in them: it was how much Jesus did. Descents up to my depth, brought
my poor man to the surface to be and illuminated him/it with some rays of its
Light.
CHRONOLOGY OF THE LIFE IS OF THE MYSTICAL EVOLUTION OF THE MAID OF GOD
We introduce a brief chronology, putting in evidence
some more meaningful dates; we are aware that the complexity of a spiritual
evolution cannot be bridled within precise dates, nevertheless we think can be
useful to the reader as orientation.- - We
draw from the autobiography, from
the Diary, from the letters to the
two spiritual managers.- Where the
indication of the source is omitted, the Autobiography is
implied that Alexandrina, for obedience, he/she shortly dictated to the
teacher of the country Saozinha and enriched of varied done from the second
manager and from the brother salesiano D. Ismael.-
Alexandrina Maria from Coast was born
the March 30 1904 to Balasar, modest country of Portugal, belonging to the
diocese of Braga, situated to around 50 kms from Oporto; it died the October 13
1955. Since the first years apparent a strong constitution a vivacious and joky
temperament: «The rich ones - his/her mother said - they have the buffoon in
their buildings; I am not rich, but I have equally in house who cares happy! ».
1911-1912 frequent the first
elementary to Pòvoa de Varzim. Always to Pòvoa, prepared by the p. Alvaro Matos,
riceve the first Communion: .... I fixed the holy wafer in such way that I
remained engraved in the mind; I had the impression to unite forever to Jesus.-
It seemed to me that He tied my heart to itself.-
The joy that I tried is inexpressible of it».
1913-1917 toward the nine
years begin to work in the fields; later it is forced to do such job to service,
to earn him the bread.- 1918
on holy Saturdays jump from a window, situated to m 3,35 from the ground,
to be saved himself/herself/themselves from a man's passion penetrated in the
house. From here it has beginning a compressed mielite to the backbone, that
will be recognized later through clinical examinations; it achieves a
progressive paralysis of it (clinical report of the dott. Azevedo).
More than six years it passes gotten sick, a little bit standing, a
little bit in bed. 1924
in June, with a lot of work, it participates in the Congress Eucaristico
of Braga:- since then in house
won't go out if not transported! 1925
the April 14 is set forever in bed. Diolinda, his/her sister, becomes his
nurse, because his/her mother has to deal himself/herself/themselves with the
jobs of country; Diolinda works in house as tailor.
1928 on the occasion of a
parish pilgrimage to Fatima, are relighted in her the hope of the recovery; but
it doesn't get the grace. In the
autobiography we read: «My desires
died to recover, and forever, feeling, ognor more, great anxieties of love to
the suffering and to think only about Jesus.-
One day, while I was being alone, coming me to mind that Jesus was in the
Tabernacle, I told Him: "My good Jesus, You captured and me also... You
bound by the love for my good, me captured by Your hands... I want what You
want; and to suffer with resignation. Don't miss me or good Jesus with Your
protection! "». 1930
in May write on the cover of a book: «Or dear Mother of the Sky, comes
to the Tabernacles of Yours and my Jesus, You present my prayers and my
supplications you make valid... Tell besides him that I want a lot of suffering,
but that I/you/he/she don't allow to me alone not even a moment». In this
period, every morning, in his prayers it says, besides: «I spiritually unite to
all the S. Messe that, day and night, they are celebrated on the Earth.-
Jesus, immolate me every moment with You on the altar of the Sacrifice;
offer me to the eternity Father according to Your intentions».-
1931-1932 during his prayers
and offers to Jesus start to feel a strong heat that seems to
burn her heart; it is felt as abducted. In one of these moments it feels the
following inspiration: sofirire, to
love, to mend. He/she doesn't
understand what they demanded from her those words: «Or my Jesus, thing you
want that I do? », question more times; and every time doesn't feel if not
those three words.- 1933
the August 16 comes to Balasar to preach a triduo in honor of the Heart
of Jesus the p. MARIANO PINHO, S.J. In this occasion Alexandrina gets him/it as
his/her spiritual manager. Such priest inspires her a lot of trust: gradually it
will expose to him the problems of his soul.-
1934 «it was in September
that fully become convinced to have been the voice of the Lord, not one my rush,
to suggest to me the words to suffer, to love, to mend.-
It was then that Jesus asked to me:
"Shake to me your hands, I want her crocifiggere; give to me your
feet, I want to nail them with me; give to me your head, I want to crown him/it
of thorns as they did to me; give to me your heart, I want to pierce him/it with
the lance as they pierced mine.- - Consecrate
to me all of your body; volunteer all to me... ».
The sentence «I become convinced to have been the voice of the Lord, not
one my rush» it is very meaningful. In fact true mystical experience is
characterized by the initiative of God, particularly strongly: such that is that
the soul can warn not to her as deriving from herself, but from God.- To the beginnings of October Jesus tells her: «I use you
because a lot of souls come to me: for your mean a lot of they are stimulated to
love me in the holy Eucharist» (Lett. to p. Pinho,
4.10.34). The October 14 Alexandrinas, with the blood tapped by a wound,
he/she writes on the back of an image: «With my blood or my Jesus, I swear You
to love a lot you.- My love is such
that I die embraced to the cross. I love you and I die for You my dear Jesus. I
want to live in your Tabernacles». In the letter to p. Pinho of November 1, is
read: «Jesus tells me that, as He
is faithful in to live in me to take comfort, I have to be him faithful in to
live in spirit in his Tabernacles and to console him/it and to love him/it».
1935 Jesus tells her: «Give
to me your blood for the sins of the world.-
Help me in the Redemption. Without me you cannot do anything; but with me
you will have power for everything, to assist the sinners and for a lot of, a
lot of things in more» (Lett.- to
p. Pinho, 3.1.35). The July 30 Jesus tells her after the Communion,: «Let
to your manager to know that, on a trial basis of the love that you have for my
holy Mother, I ask you that the whole world to You is consecrated with a solemn
party, as I asked Maria Margherita Alacoque, that was consecrated Heart to my
divin» (Lett.- to p. Pinho,
1.8.35). Alexandrina responded: «I am your victim, the victim of the
Eucharist, the small lamp where you reside in perpetual for love, the sentinel
of your Tabernacles. My Jesus, wants to be victim for the priests, for the
sinners,... for the whole world, victim for the peace, for the consecration of
the world to Maria». 1936 the day
June 7, party of the SS. Trinità, Alexandrina experiments for the first time
the mystical death, that is outwardly introduced as an apparent death;
mysterious phenomenon that is compared by the Christian theology to the
transformation of the worm in butterfly, in how much with it God purifies the
souls and makes her more and more you raise (Saint Teresa, S. Giovanni of the
Cross).- - - - The day
September 11 ps. Pinho sends to the cardinai Pacelli the application for the
consecration of the world to the Immaculate Heart of Maria.
1937 the day February 2 the
Saint Center entrusts the archbishop of Braga to study the case of Alexandrina
and to send precise news around the petition of the consecration of the world to
Maria (Cf Christ Jesus in Alexandrina, p.-
707). In the ecstasy of October 31 Jesus tells her:
.... My daughter, has you choice for things a lot of sublime; I/you/they
are used you to communicate my desire to the Pope that the world is consecrated
to my holy Mother» (Lett.- to p.
Pinho). 1938 after a
spiritual withdrawal, begun the September 30, in his cameretta, from p. Pinho,
Jesus foretells her in the ecstasy of October 2, that would have suffered all of
his holy Passion for the first time the day October 3 and then every Friday from
the 12 to the 15.- - «I didn't
refuse and I told some manager; I attended the day and the very afflicted time,
because neither me neither him we had idea than you/he/she would have happened.
In the night from 2 to October 3, if the agony of the soul were great, it was
great also the suffering of the body... With these sufferings I experimented for
the first time the Passion.- What
horror I felt in me!- what a fear
and terror! ». The experience of the relived Passion, as it is noticed by the
story of Alexandrina, it is not born, properly speaking, from the feeling, from
the emotionalism, from the meditation and from her reflection, even if its
dispositions have been able, under certain aspects, to be an useful element to
open the street to the divine charisma. 1939
the January 20, during the ecstasy, Jesus tells her that you/he/she will
keep on actually reliving the Passion in this form to that the world will be
consecrated to the Immaculate Mother (Lett. to p. Pinho).
The March 20, after a little while the election of Pious XII, Jesus
foretells her that you/he/she will be this the Pope which will consecrate the
world to Maria. The June 28 Jesus foretells to her the war as punishment of the
serious sins committed by the world; and she volunteers victim for the peace
(Lett.- to p. Pinho). 1940 the July 4
is offered victim together to other souls in union with the Madonna, to get that
at least its country is saved by the war. Jesus accepts the offer and
categorically affirms: «Portugal will be saved by the war» (Lett. to p.
Pinho). This way it happened. In
December Jesus assures her that also the holy Father would be spared by the
horrors of the war, but that you/he/she would have had to morally suffer a great
deal (Lett. to p. Pinho, 6.12.40).
1941 have the first meeting
with the physician, dott. Emanuele August Diaz de Azevedo, which he/she picks
her/it up in care, actually following her/it with generous devotion and
Christian spirit to the death.- The
day August 29 the p. José Alves Terças, of the order of the Missionaries of
the Spirit Saint, assists to the Passion; it will publish the description of it
in the n. 10 of the magazine «Vida de Christ, to painful Paixao» vol. V,
LISBOA, 1941. 1942
and deprived of his spiritual manager. The day March 20 suffers for the
last time the Passion, in the form of physical share. The following Friday, 27,
holy Friday, anymore the Passion doesn't suffer in the aforesaid form, but it
relives in the intimate of it the varied phases (internal share, ). In the same
day Jesus tells her: «Not to fear, my daughter: you won't be crocifissa
anymore. The crucifixion that you have you is the most painful of those that the
history can record» (Diary, 27.3A2).
It intends to say that since then you/he/she would also have participated more
intensely in all the moral and spiritual sufferings without external
demonstrations.- In this period its
physical conditions are increased a lot: to the point that one day seems dying
person and riceve the holy oil; says his last dispositions. A second time enters
in instead the mystical death, that will last around two years. In this period
it also begins the fast and the anuria complete, that will last up to the
death:- some only consecrated Wafer
will be fed: more than 13 years! The day October 31 the Saint Father ago the
official consecration of the world to the Immaculate Heart of Maria (Cf Christ
Jesus in Alexandrina, p. 117).
1943 from June 10 to July 20
are ill in the hospital «Shelter of childish paralysis» of Mouth of the Douro,
near Oporto, under the observation of the dott.-
Gomes de Araùjo: the ecclesiastical authority had prepared that a severe
control was made around the fast and the anuria, which many didn't believe; the
physicians also wanted to verify with the maximum rigor. The relationship served
as the dott. Gomes de Araùjo concludes saying: «And absolutely sure that
during the 40 days of hospitalization in the " Shelter " Alexandrina
didn't eat neither he/she drank, it didn't urinate, neither he/she defecated...-
». 1944
despite the aforesaid test, continue to diffon-
I rose doubts and gossips around his fast and his life rich in charismas;
this causes her inexpressible sufferings, so much more than it is found it
deprives of spiritual guide. The Providence comes her meeting entrusting her/it
to the direction of a salesiano. These, made him account that in Alexandrina
there and really the work of God, imposes her to dictate its diary up to the
death.- Heroic secretary his/her
sister Diolinda is her, «that angel that God beside as nurse had set her». The
December 1 happens the mystical marriage, that is the state of loving union
between God and its soul. Jesus tells her: «You are bride and six mother,
mother that doesn't stop being virgin. You are mother of the sinners...».
Saturday, December 2, the Madonna confirms her the words of his/her/their Child
and adds: «Ax my holy mantle... you can cover the whole world: enough for
everybody. It accepts my crown... you are queen».
1945 suffer for the
impression to be house of sin and the same sin and he/she discount the varied
categories of the sins. You rincrudiscono and they are done more frequent and
you violate the assaults of the demon. Contemporarily it experiments varied
degrees of the transformation of his soul in Christ:-
«I want to dilate you the heart, I want to do him/it great, great as my
divine love... fault to penetrate in the world that I have deposed in your heart»
(Diary, 3.3A5). And a few months
later: «Taken in his divine hands the Don Umberto Pasquale. These, prayed by
her, it enrolls her/it among the Cooperatricis salesiane the August 15 1944. my
heart and it did a great globe of it that after a little while it put me to the
place of the heart:- "My
daughter, your heart is a globe of love..."» (Diary,
22.6.45). «My bride, my queen; alive of me, your life is mine,
I/you/they are turned into you because your life is divine... You are the
fountain and Me the water that gushes out, it washes, it purifies... » (Diary, 1.9.45). 1946
The articulations of the braccias and the vertebrae are disconnected; the
dott. Azevedo decides to bandage her/it in the whole body and to put her/it on
hard aces, on which he/she will remain actually to the death (Diary,
4.10.46). New examinations of theologians and physicians, that leave
her/it in painful state (Diary, 26.11.46).
1947 are felt a great deal
serious of health and he/she writes of really fist, with unheard of sacrifice,
his letter-will to the sinners: «I have spent my life to suffer and I will pass
my Sky to love and to pray for you or sinners. Convert you and beloved Jesuses!-
Love Mom! Come! We go all to Sky. If you tried for a few times the
martyrs that I have suffered for you, I am convinced that you would not sin
anymore. If you knew the love of Jesus, oh, then you would die of pain to have
him/it offended. Not sin! Has created us! Be father!
1948 full of the charity of
Christ, it intensifies the parish apostolato and the help to the poor men that
resort more and more numerous to her; it helps the vocations, the they sow and
the Religious Houses of formation.- - It
increases more and more the number of the people that you/they go to do visits
her to have you recommend of it. Jesus tells her: «And with your pain that you
assist: it confides that your pain is for the souls more than the water for the
fishes, more than the sun for the earth». The July 14 writes of his/her fist
the epitaph for its grave: «Sinners,
if the ashes of my body can be useful to save you, draw near, pass you above,
stamp on you her up to that disappears, but sin anymore not!-
Don't offend our Jesus anymore!- Sinners,
would like to tell you so many things! To write to her all would not be enough
this great cemetery. Convert to you! Don't offend Jesus! Doesn't take to lose
him/it for the whole eternity! He is so much good person! Enough with the sin!
Love Jesus, love him/it! The
day September 23 riceves the last visit of the its according to manager, forced
to return in Italy. To him however it will send his diaries up to the death.
Remained it also deprives some second manager, it is felt to say from Jesus:
.... I am the divine artist and in yours nothing I realize the most marvelous
masterpiece... it is with your obscurity that I give light to the souls»
(Diary, 1.10.48).
1949 Jesus promises her to
call to his tumult many sinners and to convert them (Diary,
2.9.49). The Virgo of the Rosary appears her with the crown of the Rosary
and tells her: .... the world agonizes and dies in the sin.-
I want prayer, I want penitence. You wind in this crown of mine of the
Rosary those people whom you love... and the whole world» (Diary,
1.10.49). 1950
in the ecstasy of July 28 Jesus tells her: «Give to me your reparation
and he/she listens to my urgent message: "I
want the Pope to appeal to the world a supreme...:-
prayer, penitence, renewal of life, pure life..."
It is to September 1 it adds: «You unite to my anguish yours, to my
agony yours, to my Calvary yours: it is ordeal of pain, it is ordeal of
salvation...- » (Diary). Alexandrina
participates even in the sufferings of Christ and of it ricevette the stigmates,
that you/they will be always invisible, but painful.-
Jesus tells her: «My daughter, transport balm from my sore to yours,
hidden but painful, well deep, because your hands sow through the painful sore
my divine seed and because your feet, that don't walk for the open sore, tear
from the erred walks the souls that race toward the perdition...-
I transport balm from the wounds of my head to yours for soavizzare the
pain of your thorns, so that, made stronger, you are able with these sufferings
to tear from the spirits the bad intentions and the iniquitous thoughts...- - from my heart I transport loving balm, balm of fire, because
you love Me and make to love, because you turn on this fire, this love, because
you possegga always the tenderness, the sweetness of mine» (Diary
1.9.50). 1951
in the ecstasy of January 19 Jesus solicits: «Soon, soon, more prayers,
more penitence!- I lend to renew
the life and the customs! Soon, my children!...
» (Diary). Alexandrina
responds: «You say soon; I say "it waits, Jesus"... I say "it
waits; give to them time, Jesus; I am Your victim and I want pardon for the
world"» (Diary, 19.1.51). The
soul victim is made more and more alike to the divine Victim. The identification
of Alexandrina with the Christ is working for years: «You live with my life,
you suffer with my pain, you love with my love: alive with my life because with
it I make you live; you suffer with my pain because I do you him to feel, as
victim to mend; you love with my love because you the infusions in your heart so
that with it you love Me and does what I am beloved» (Diary,
23.11.51).- 1952
the January 18 in the Diary we read:
«I don't know what I feel in the heart: it seems to me that I/you/he/she have
inside someone that, as the fishermen, lance nets and nets to capture this
immense world of souls.. How much more nets go out of the heart, so many more it
has to launch of it. And what great anxieties infinitely to have her all full
ones!- What an assignment, that
incessant tiredness!- ». From this
year the number of the people that you/they go to see her/it dreadfully
increases and to ask I recommend her; the conversions are innumerable. Despite
all this, it feels very acute another suffering: the impression that all of its
life and its martyrdom are useless:- «All
of my way of living has become useless» (Diary,
16.5.52). 1953
however the January 9 says: «Balm to mine to suffer I am only the hope
and the trust; I don't feel to have trust, but I confide... The life without
pain seems to me unbearable...- There
is void not that can be compared to the sweetness of the cross when we accept
her/it and we bring her/it with love» (Diary).- By the way of the agony on the Calvary it says: «They
were secret and mysteries of love... they were secret and mysteries of
redemption» (Diary 1.5.53).
Alexandrina has understood the great value salvifico of the suffering. It is
Jesus it tells her: .... I am the
sun, the life, the love of your heart... life and divine love it is alone. I
give, I am communicated for your mean to the souls... You are in the public life
of Jesus... » (Diary, 15.5.53). It
is in the ecstasy of November 20 Jesuses it says: «I have chosen this Calvary
for love of the sinners, for love of the whole humanity; Me Jesus, entitles
him/it "the sinners' Calvary"» (Diary).- -
The December 25 has the last public ecstasy, that generally had after the
Passion internally lived.- 1954
this year applies the 12
anniversary of the beginning of its fast and complete anuria; Jesus tells her:
«I have put you to the world, I make you live only of Me, to try to the world
what it is worth the Eucharist and what is my life in the souls: it is light and
salvation for the humanity» (Diary, 9.4.54).
In May he/she writes to p. Pinho: .... How much need I would have of her,
open to her my soul, show to her a book of innumerable pages that have in the
heart! It is a book that can be understood and to only read everything in the
light of the eternity.- In it
anxieties are written to give to me, to be consumed in the love of Jesus and to
conduct to Him the souls all, really everybody.-
I cannot allow that I/you/he/she don't even lose one of it.. How much
speaks this book! » (28.5.54). This alive book, is not if not Christ crucifix
with which Alexandrina is felt identified. In September Jesus tells her: «Your
life is my Passion that continues...- it
is mystical Passion, but that it contains all of my holy Passion» (Diary,
24.9.54). Few days later he/she is read in the Diary: «At that time,
from the sore of his divin Heart went out such a great lightning with so bright
rays that made to be resplendent everything.-
After a little while, from all of his divine sore rays that the feet and
the hands pierced through me went out; from its head sacrosanto came toward mine
a sun that the brain has pierced me. Around the first lightning and the rays
that went out of his divin Heart, Jesus you/he/she has told me with all clarity:
«My daughter, to similarity of S. Margherita Maria I want that you turn on in
the world this love for me, very out in the heart of the men... for your mean I
want that this love is turned on in the whole humanity, as for your mean the
world was consecrated to my blessed Mother. Do, beloved bride, that is spread in
the whole world the love to our Hearts» (Diary,
1.10.54). Despite all this, it suffers terrible crises of faith and it is
felt in the darkness. In the Diary we read: «I have repeated mine I believe with a lot of difficulty; I told Jesus mine I believe, I hope
and I confide, however a constant
lie seemed to me» (8.10.54). 1955
the January 7 Jesus foretells to her the death: «Are in your year! be in
your year! It confides, it confides in Me». The February 11 Jesus tells her: «Courage,
give birth my, your room, your life, how many teachings give to the world! It is
divine school, that teaches to the men; it is light of God that illuminates them
in the darkness» (Diary). The day
October 13, anniversary of the last apparition of the Madonna to Fatima,
Alexandrina flies to the Sky:- the
his/her heart, incinerated by the love, it stops beating to 8 pm and 29
minutes. For his express wish was
buried with the turned face to the Tabernacle of its parish as sign of its love
for Jesus Eucaristico.